the only dancing i know is this.. *holds close* fuck dancing. bwahahaha...

i am atleast in the right mind now. as compared to last night. haha! raule, may vodka nga yung sprite na yun. medyo hilo-hilo ako kagabi eh. lol.

holding hands? what? fuck holding hands. bwahahaha..

i miss my 3300. raule! palit tayo ulit! haha.. bilhin mo yan bilhin ko 'to. para masaya. haha.. your phone's full of M.Y.M.P. and afro-american music. haha.. ho humm..

New Playlist for Saturday: [Lemonade unplugged baby!]
Torete - Moonstar 88
Ang Huling El Bimbo - Eheads (I think we're making this our marker song.. haha)

aww.. ralph texted me last night. he called lemonade "sister band"!!! kyot..

i actually realized that yesternight was fun. well, atleast the catching up on people i haven't talked to for awhile part. pictures are up! http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl6

this is me and bokbok before she got, err.. drunk. haha.

we the shiznit. do you see my tongue ring? haha.. me neither.

the groupies. and my rockstar face. bwahahaha..

rekindling the old flame? haha.. hoy cat, tabi ka na dyan! inggit!

me and rg!

me and kuya nico.

this is iya my twin with anika.

as i entered the mra with my soulmate, i felt as if it was another rehearsal. i don't know why. up to now it hasn't hit me that i've graduated. ang weird noh?

congratulatoins mica!!!! i am so SO proud of you!!!! and maraban, well, what can i say? wah!!! i love you!!!

i ate dinner with my family in bubba gump and damn was i stuffed. the off to starbucks to meet with a few members of MK. i think i over did taking pictures. haha.. pwede ko na ba i-career? lol.

i've got to go.

asado out.

--

fuck dancing. fuck holding hands. fuck that.

when life throws you lemons, you make lemonade! i love you besty!!! cheer up!

tae, summer na. wala na akong magagawa.

i was thinking of blogging something angsty. then i realized that there's no angst in me to blog about. hrmm.. amazingly so. i wonder why..

good job sansan. ano reband na? i'm kind of hurt with what happened. oh and i have kwento for you.

good job seven day trial! me hearts you all.

i guess i'll be blogging here less. i've moved to a secret place in a secret society. lol. labo.

have fun at GK friends!

graduation pictures have been posted. http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl7. later i'll post the tdevs mass wedding pictures in http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl6

that's about all i have to say.

asado out.

that sounds like a good premise for a song.. i'll write you one after my rehearsals...

steve gadd marry me! http://www.drummerworld.com/Videos/SteveGaddCollective.html double bass. amazing!!! nic's a sucker for drummers.

awww.. poor pope.

--

rawr. me miss you.

wala nang pag-asa yan. to her everything was just something she had to do and not something she wanted to do. she did it for the sake of the grade. to her, lemonade was a requirement. to get atleast an O, she had to do something. there's no use talking to her. i don't think she'd even give a shit if we disbanded. she had her heart in the wrong place. i refuse to talk to her. when i saw her this morning, i was so full of it. i just wanted to kick her. but i didn't. why? cause i wanted to believe that she had a good excuse to be there with other people and not play for us.

thank you nikki. i heart you.

it's been fun writing in my old blogs. i don't know why, it just is. maybe because livejournal and tabulas have been a little bit overrated. i don't know.

someone please save me before i go insane. i need to get out.

i know who can save me! spiderman. lol. nicole ang labo mo.

i'm confirming to la salle on tuesday. i'll be giving them my report card. how sad is that? i hope they give it back or i hope ateneo accepts a form 137 (if ever).

i need you to save me too.. she wants to be a model. she needs to hear she's beautiful..

where is my bola-bola?!

advanced happy birthday to jhoon! wuhoo..

people were sent to GK today. i feel awful not being allowed. that's probably part of why i need some saving. i need my bola-bola. whoever he might be. lol.

somewhere over the rainbow, way up high, and the dreams that you dream of once in a lullaby.. somewhere over the rainbow, blue birds fly.. someday i wish upon a star, wake up where the clouds are far behind.. and the dreams that you dream of, dreams really do come true..
where trouble melts like lemon drops, high beyond the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me..
i see trees of green and red roses too! i'll watch them bloom for me and you and i think to myself, what a wonderful world.. i see skies of blue and i see clouds of white.. what a wonderful world..
the colors of the rainbow so pretty in the sky.. friends shaking hands, saying how do you do?

--

there is a castle on a cloud, i like to go ther ein my sleep. aren't any floors for me to sweep. not in my castle on a cloud.. nobody shouts or talks to loud. not in my castle on a cloud.. she says, cosette i love you very much.. i know a place where no one's lost. i know a place where no one's cries. crying at all is not allowed. not in my castle on a cloud..

--

shouldn't be so complicated, just hold me again.. can't you help me i'm bent? i'm so scared that i'll never be put back together..

--

bakit puro kanta? di ko na ba masulat ang nararamdaman ko? masyado na bang halo-halo?

benjamin's name in msn: "SAVE WATER! drink beer." nice one!!

--

i'd get lost in the nothingness inside of me.. i was confused and i'd let it all out to find that i'm not the only person with these things in mind.. stuck, hollow and alone..
i wanna heal, i wanna feel what i thought was never real. i wanna let go of the pain i've felt so long.. i wanna heal, i wanna feel like i'm close to something real. i wanna find something i wanted all along.. somewhere i belong..
i will never know myself until i do this on my own.. and i will never feel anything else until my wounds are healed.. i will break away.. i'll find myself today..

--

to the person who's been keeping me somewhat sane: thank you, thank you oh so so! i heart you oh so so! thanks for that great conversation last night.

--

give me space so i can breathe.. give me space so i can sleep.. give me space so you can drown in this with me..

--

last na 'to.

Love Song For No One - John Mayer

Staying home alone on a Friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
I'm jaded
I hate it

I'm tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Searching all my days just to find you
I'm not sure who I'm looking for
I'll know it
When I see you
Until then, I'll hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

You'll be so good
You'll be so good for me

as boring as you were the last time we chatted, i told z that i would message you the next time you were online. haha.. wuhoo!

nicole: hey! advanced happy birthday!!
jhoon balbuena: is that you playin the drums? hehhehe
nicole: yup yup yuperoo!!!
jhoon balbuena: cute pic. gotta go catch ya in a bit
nicole: haha ok.. advanced happy birthday again!
nicole: take care!
jhoon balbuena: thanks a lot

--

yes, it's me. with my cap signed by kjwan. rawr!

do you see any resemblance? i think we're meant to be..

All my life i've searched for clarity. Everything's so clear to me now and it's ridiculous but, it's you that I want.
--> since everyone's been reading their past blogs, i started reading mine. ahh.. the blogs of last summer.. *sigh*

I try to tell myself wake up fool, this fairy tale's got to end..
--> haha.. still one summer ago.

i wouldn't believe it cause i thought that she wouldn't be so stupid as to go for someone who bullshitted me.
--> the thoughts of last summer.. shocking!

i miss mirc. ahh.. more joys of summer. haha.. it's like all i did last summer was chat in mirc. can anyone say.. loser? hahaha...

it's funny opening my xanga now cause it plays that damn song. hahaha.. rawr.

<nic|out> colleen want to contemplate on the many mysteries of life?
<G-colin-K> ermm......
<G-colin-K> no.
<G-colin-K> WAHAHA!! sige na nga
<G-colin-K> GO GO
<nic|out> if God can do anything, can He create a rock so heavy that He Himself cannot lift?
<nic|out> The quest is to be liberated from the negative, which is really our own will to nothingness. And, once having said yes to the instant, the affirmation is contagious. It bursts into a chain of affirmations that knows no limit. To say yes to one instant, is to say yes to all of existence.
<C-a_R-L_o> well you said that he can do anything eh
<C-a_R-L_o> so if you believe that
* sabs has joined #ateneosucks
<nic|out> yeah but see it's like the impossible question
<C-a_R-L_o> you should believe that he can create
<C-a_R-L_o> but if you really believe in God
<nic|out> if nothing's impossible and everything is possible, is it possible that something is impossible?
<C-a_R-L_o> you would know that he wouldnt bother with something stupid like that
<C-a_R-L_o> hahahaha
<G-colin-K> if it is His will....then so be it
<nic|out> hahaha i like colleen's answer better
<nic|out> hahahahaha
<sabs> what's the question?

No. No, I'm sorry. Alright, look, Amy I know your life is really rough right now. And I want to be there for you. I do. But not like this. I can't keep being you're second choice. Not when you're my first
--> unrequitted love lang lahat ng entries ko last year. bwahahaha..

last one..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TITA ALETH!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARC CARBONELL!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY RUBY MAE DACUAN!!!

when they say you have to gain weight.. i say hey, i like it like this.. when they say hey momma you're too fat.. i say hey, i like it like this..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BELOVED ASAWA JHOON BALBUENA!!! lol.

i should've taken a graduation picture with the flag!!

i fell asleep pretty early last night. i sent marc a text 30 minutes before his birthday. haha..

nakakabuisit na lahat ng tao. ano ba? nakakainis na eh. ang kukulit ng mga puch.

was it something that i did, gave up the vibe? lol

uyy.. bokbok, nakangiti. haha.. eww, i look fat.

ganda ko. lol.

thanks for the pictures manong j!

i like this picure. don't i look hot? lol.

that's me and chico. galing noh?

uyy.. totoo na yan.

anyway.. had a tiring shopping day with my mom. rawr. new clothes. yey.

damn tami, akala ko naman pwede na ako sa embassy. damn it.

happy birthday my love! lol.

i wonder when's chief's birthday.

I _____ Nicole.
Nicole is _____.
If I were alone in a room with Nicole, I would _____.
I think Nicole should _____.
Nicole needs _____.
I want to _____ Nicole.
Someday Nicole will _____.
Nicole reminds me of _____.
Without Nicole, _____.
Memories of Nicole are _____.
Nicole can be _____.
Worst thing about Nicole is _____.
Best thing about Nicole is _____.

i was just listening to Lemonade's recording of 2 Trick Pony and She Will Be Loved.. it's damn good. too bad.. anyway..

wanted: new band. i'm not leaving Lemonade. HELL NO! i just want a sort of side band. Lemonade's just sort of out of it as of now. we're on a "break" until we sort things out. rawr..

i'm going to la salle in awhile. rawr. pray that the line won't be too long. and it won't take me more than 2 hours. maybe i should bring my gameboy. who studies in la salle? maybe i can meet up with him/her. at least i'll have someone to talk to.

kacki! i sort of have an outfit na for your birthday!! i can't wait to see you!!!

pinauwi yung mga nag GK. lol. sayang. they were having so much fun pa naman daw.

eww.. why am i speaking in taglish?

maybe i can bring a book to read. haay.. i'm going to get lost i tell you. i'm going to get lost in freakin' la salle.

dear Lord, please send me to Ateneo. Amen.

i'm still loving this photo. hahaha.. makes me feel like a rockstar of some sort.

so anyway.. kacki you may enter embassy but i'm married to jhoon. bwahahaha!! labo.

so i went to la salle today to confirm my slot. and it took me about 30 minutes to get there and 10 minutes (or even less) to confirm. that includes getting lost already. haha.. nice one!

i miss MK. dinner soon oki guys?

friends.. kailan enrollment ninyo sa la salle? para may kasabay ako! may 6 ata sa akin. ewan.

ang sakit ng ngipin ko!!!!!

mia! i miss youuuuu!

i need to get out of the house.

i haven't thanked my mom for our shopping spree yesterday. i will later.

Tonight I Can Write The Saddest Lines - Pablo Neruda

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write, for example, 'The night is starry
and the stars are blue and shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved him, and sometimes he loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held him in my arms.
I kissed him again and again under the endless sky.

He loved me, sometimes I loved him too.
How could one not have loved his great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have him. To feel that I have lost him.

To hear the immense night, still more immense without him.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to the pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is starry and he is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost him.

My sight tries to find him as though to bring him closer.
My heart looks for him, and he is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love him, that's certain, but how I loved him.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch him hearing.

Another's. He will be another's. As he was before my kisses.
His voice, his bright body. His infinite eyes.

I no longer love him, that's certain, but maybe I love him.
Love is so short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held him in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost him

Though this be the last pain that she makes me suffer
and these the last verses that I write for him.

so maybe i'm not yet completely over him as i thought. but i should be. it's been almost a year since our last decent conversation. 10 months. haha.. i just miss him. this summer won't be the same.

i miss you like crazy even more than words can say.. i miss you like crazy every minute of every day..

takte. baduy ng kanta.

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people going to bora tomorrow suck. lol. loko lang manok.

ang sakit na ng kamay ko sa kakahampas sa screen ng computer ko. someone please fix this fucked up screen.

good job jia! ganda. haha..

tomorrow's kacki's birthday. i'm excited.

fuck this computer!!!!!! i can't see what i'm typing again!!

this is how bums converse: (me and anton. lol)nicole: what's up?
tchon_tchon: haha
tchon_tchon: nothin much
tchon_tchon: ang init and im bored
nicole: hahah
nicole: same here
tchon_tchon: haha
tchon_tchon: hay...
nicole: labas tayo
nicole: sunugin natin ateneo
tchon_tchon: hahaha
tchon_tchon: pwde pwde
tchon_tchon: let's burn the college down?
nicole: actually hintayin muna natin april 18
tchon_tchon: hmm...
tchon_tchon: kahit na. haha
nicole: haha
nicole: kung di tayo tanggapin sunugin na natin
tchon_tchon: haha. pwdeee
tchon_tchon: ako na bhla sa gokongwei building
tchon_tchon: haha
nicole: haha
nicole: ako bahala kay fr que
tchon_tchon: hahaha
tchon_tchon: e hostage na lang natin
tchon_tchon: tapos hingin natin yung Ateneo mismo
nicole: haha
nicole: tapos let's run that joint
tchon_tchon: yess
tchon_tchon: tapos lahat ng kamag anak natin atenista na
nicole: OH YEAH
nicole: hahahaha
tchon_tchon: hahaha
nicole: tapos lahat ng kinaiinisan natin kick out natin
nicole: i.e. pedro (bwahaha.. sabi ni anton yan censor name eh..)
nicole: sa akin lang yun
nicole: haha
tchon_tchon: haha
tchon_tchon: palipat natin sa ateneo de davao
nicole: haha
nicole: zamboanga nalang
tchon_tchon: haha

si jam mayoralgo masama sa akin. wuhoo.. lagot ka sa akin kung maka pasa ako ng ateneo. bwahahahaha... may hahabulin ako. bwahahahaha!! *evil grin*

this is how a bum converses with a retired man: (me and my lolo. lol.)
nono: you should do something useful while you're on break.
nicole: right before college? ayoko nga!
nono: buti ka nga.. *tells the story of his summers*
nicole: mmhmm..
--> but you see nono, i am being useful. i'm staying away from people. lol. besides i still have to ask about my tennis lessons, drum lessons and err, driving lessons. rawr.

ok. now to work on my resumes.

a. Post the names of 15 of your favorite musicians.
b. See who can guess which is your favorite song by each.
c. Once someone guesses right, bold that row and include the song

1. Kjwan - My Dear (rawr! go aaron!)
2. Bamboo - These Days (madaya si aaron!)
3. Something Corporate - I Want To Save You (good job d! and maika too! haha!)
4. Sting - Englishman In New York
5. Kapatid - Prayer (good job z!)
6. No Doubt - Sunday Morning (again z!)
7. Sandwich - Nahuhulog (nice one aaron!)
8. Eraserheads - Ligaya (sir ja! usa lang nakuha mo!)
9. Rivermaya - Balisong (z's on a roll!)
10. P.O.T. - Yugyugan Na (and z again!)
11. 6Cycle Mind - Biglaan (aii, dalawa pala)
12. Jamiroquai - Canned Heat (never thought you'd get this dino!)
13. Nirvana - Come As You Are (go NIKKI!!!!)
14. John Mayer - Back To You (i can't believe dino didn't get this!)
15. Yellowcard - Cigarette (good job mady!)

when it comes to matters regarding my best friend, you don't say "trust me, I know" to me. it makes me feel like i don't know her. and how can you say that you know if she doesn't even freaking talk to you? god. it annoys me.

it's funny how we're defending a person and her not knowing about it. or there's a probability of her not knowing about it. must i tell her? well, she will find out some time soon right? maybe i will tell her. next time i see her.

i miss mk.

i had a great dinner. too bad someone spoiled it. just the thought of the someone makes me want to get a mongol two and grrr... we should have a code name for him. grr.. i'm just really annoyed at how stupid and mahangin he is. it's just soo.. grr.. YOU'RE NOT GOD.

anyway.. i'm still smiling. why? same reason as before. :D

nicole: back
katrina mae de jesus: front
katrina mae de jesus: haha
katrina mae de jesus: corny
nicole: ngek ngek
katrina mae de jesus: yan ang effect

so i fell off the chair laughing.. got a problem with that?

i've got to many soulmates. i love you maita. haha!

to my other soulmate.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY KACKI SALDUA!!! I LOVE YOU TO BITS!!!!

to one of the bestest guitarists i know.. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BAMBAM GUECO! MAHAL KITA!!!

The movie adaptation of "The Five People You Meet In Heaven" starring Jon Voight, Ellen Burstyn, Jeff Daniels, Dagmara Dominczyk and Michel Imperioli-premieres on the Hallmark Channel on April 17.
--> I got that from someone else's blog. Forgot who. Please someone remind me to watch this.

i was the first to greet both kacki and bam. i'm oh so proud! hahaha..

i need to organize my thoughts.. and i need a secret blog. lol.

i'm still smiling. still the same reason. still smiling.

i'm sane. crazily sane.

new band: (the side band)
Manok on bass
Saging on drums
Bambam (you need a codename hon) on guitars
Nicnic on well whatever's left. haha!

i want to go to embassy, fort on april 12. but i can't enter until july 23 2005. damn it.

i've got a new idol. raymond marasigan. i don't know how to spellit though. i want to meet him. lol.

i want a ska band.

i need to organize my thoughts. have i said that already?

i want to kill someone who's in boracay with a sharpened mongol 2 pencil.

you are the laughter in my silence...  i wrote that a few months back. why or how? i don't remember. i don't even remember writing it.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PATTY LAYUG!

a free for all. fuck 'em all. you are your own.. blah.

and i want out of all this shit.

but i'm still smiling..

a. Post the names of 15 of your favorite musicians.
b. See who can guess which is your favorite song by each.
c. Once someone guesses right, bold that row and include the song

1. Jamie Cullum - These Are The Days (mady.)
2. Story of the Year - Anthem of our Dying Day (mady.)
3. Maroon 5 - Sunday Morning (dino finally figured that out!)
4. The Moffatts
5. 98 Degrees - Beacause of You (go Dino!)
6. Simple Plan - Addicted (dino.)
7. Good Charlotte
8. 12 Stones
9. *NSync - Girlfriend (haha! finally! go dino!)
10. Stevie Wonder
11. Sponge Cola - Lunes (pweh. dino!)
12. Sugar Free - Burnout (dino panget.)
13. Blue
14. Jason Mraz - The Remedy (aaron)
15. Oasis - Wonderwall (aaron & ja!)

I quote from ShadowMaster's blog: Define irony: "How can something so good cause a lot of pain?"  Just like love. Nice one Makes you think doesn't it?

pictures from kacki's debut: http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl7 have fun in bora soulmate! i love you to bits! and i uberly loved your outfit last night! you looked gorgeous! and the jello was great. hahaha..

thank you to the people who gave me a ride going there and going home. i love you both.

i like being called princess. it sounds.. nice. hehe.. makes me feel special. rawrrr..

i'm going to batangas in a few minutes. i don't want to. i dreamt that i had a choice.. but nope. i don't think i have a choice. actually i never asked. haha.. but oh well, i don't mind going to batangas.

subtext won play of the year! yey! go niel! i promise to watch atleast one of your plays!

may 21. may 21. may 21. may 21. may 21. may 21. may 21. ok. needed that.

asado out.

KJWAN GIGSKED

APR 12: Blue Onion, Eastwood (Ragna Launch)
APR 30: Pulp Summer Slam 11pm
MAY 13: Pioneer Show (RT Event)
MAY 14: MTV Lokal Cebu
MAY 15: Olongapo Convention Center (Ragna Tour)
MAY 28: Baywalk Plaza, Malate

sinong may gustong pumunta?!

--

and you call me dense? you insensitive jerk.

--

oh my! it was her! it was her! it was really her!!!!

--

batangas was sort of the bore. non-stop eating. non-stop thinking. thank God for family and my game boy.

--

i'm jealous of the people in bora. oh well.. sucks. i want to go but i'll probably be too lazy anyway. haha..

--

Tulad Ng Dati - The Dawn
Wala na akong makita
Sa iyong mga mata
Dati rati
Isang tingin ko lang
Alam ko na
Alam ko na

Bakit ngayon
Ika'y nababalot
Sa kulay ng hatinggabi
Nagtatanong
Nangangarap na aking
Magisnang muli

Kung may bagyo
O kung tag-araw
Sa iyong damdamin

Sana ay makilala kang muli
Tulad ng dati
Halika at lumapit kang muli
Tulad ng dati

Wala na kong maramdaman
Sa iyong mga kamay
Dati rati
Isang hawak ko lang
Alam ko na
Alam ko na

--

i need something to do this summer. my parents seem to not want me to take drum lessons. first my dad tells me he'll let me take lessons and if i really like it he'll buy me a set. then my mom says, how will i practice if i have no set. grr.. now that i think about it, it pisses me off.

on april 15 i'll find out the results of my la salle change course thing. wah! and on april 18 i'll find out my ateneo application result. WAH!

--

*smiling*

i don't know. i somewhat suddenly wanted to blog again.

i don't understand why i can't talk about what i have or what i want in my blog. it's not that i can't, it's just that people seem to think differently of me because of what i blog. does that make sense? it's a blog for crying out loud! a journal! what's in it is about me. what i do, what i want, what i have.. it's MY life. so if anyone, anyone at all, has any objections or complaints, STOP READING.

i'm not pissed. heck, i pity the person who commented. how much is your guess that he/she will comment again? pathetic person.

--

i'm cutting the ball pics. i have even't cut the prom pics. lol. anyway..

--

please support my band on may 21 in House of Alumnae, University of the Philippines, Diliman. i have no idea what time. lol. i'll update on that soon. but please support us. tickets are at P200 each. there'll be 15 all girls' bands. please cheer for us! and buy tickets from any of us.

now, that's if we actually go through with this one. we want to win it. cash prize + radio guesting at NU. not bad. i've got to tell saging about it first. lol.

pray for us please.

p.s. mady, if ever, may i ride with you? ahehehe..

warning: if i suddenly snap on you or don't mind you for no reason at all, it's just PMS and i'm sorry.

i miss kacki.

i miss AC's siopao.

i miss lemonade. actually.. i miss my three bandmates. get well soon manok!

the ragnarok launch is by invite only.

i miss merk and marla. i need to go out with you guys soon!!!!!

--

so i was reading through people's blogs and BAM! sure, last night's "how are you doing" session was weird (and i thank ysa for that), but BAM!

i miss going back to Luke 18. and i keep telling myself that but i never seem to get up and actually go back. and what sucks about all this is that i can't even go to the weekend!  my family's going to be in baguio. grawr..

i miss the people most especially. i miss benj, merk, marla, mai, maraban, bea p, bobbie, sam, jayme, rica, edric.. grawr! i miss everyone! i hereby promise to be active again once school starts.

--

i also realized how bitchy i've been to certain people.. and i'm sorry for that. i just got carried away? i don't know..

--

reading maiqui's comment on my other friend's blog made me think.. she's right. everyone's heart is perfect! it just needs some cleaning once in awhile. i think i'll go do that. start cleaning. i think i really need some cleaning. ho humm..

i can't wait for baguio.. it'll give me time to think and reflect about a lot of things i guess.

--

it's summer. i miss the aysees. i miss 4-1.

i miss pia!!! i haven't talked to that girl for ages!!!! we need a lot of catching up! i miss our "coin days" with roanna. hehe..

shucks.. it's summer. i'm getting sentimental again. lol.

i miss polly!!! you and i haven't really been making kwento since.. :p

gawd, i miss everyone. hoy maiqui! go home na!

but most of all i miss someone. sure, maybe it was sort of weird last night.. i was happy. :D but i still miss that someone.. grawr..

--

i think it's time to move my blog again.

tim : 50% audience impact
tim : 20% voice quality
nicole: is it an open place?
nicole: wag na voice quality
nicole: hahah
tim : 10% musicality, technicality, and stage presence
tim : kailangan eh
tim : ahaha

takte. lol. patayan na 'to!!! lahat kayo manuod! you see the 50% there? time out.. 70% lang yan all in all. labo. anyway.. 50% AUDIENCE IMPACT!!!

--

i had the weirdest dream. i dreamt that i was with mica somewhere and we didn't know that there was a kjwan gig. then suddenly everyone was going nuts and we found out that kjwan was there.

so anyway.. we were outside near the fountain when jhoon appears with a video cam with some other dood beside him. then he was filming the people outside. as in linalapitan niya talaga to see what the people were doing. then he approached me and mica and for some reason asked for my number. *wapak!* and we talked and stuff.. and he knew my name!!! then i had to go cause my ride was there.

so i went downstairs and realized that my ride wasn't there. i was carrying a bunch of things so i decided to take the elevator going up. there was a strange man beside me waiting for the elevator but i didn't mind him. while entering the elevator he was looking for something in his pocket. i had a feeling that it was a gun of some sort and wanted to go down the elevator but didn't for the love of my mom who was going to pick me up.

then suddenly, the strange guy goes, "this is a hold up". mother of god, i was being mugged. then i forced myself to wake up cause i didn't know if i was going to die. oh wait.. while the guy was talking i was texting at my back.. cause i was sitting down and he didn't notice. that's it.

strange.

--

i've freaked about twice today.

antonton just told me that his classmate was called last week telling him that he's been accepted to the ateneo. wah!! when will i find out my status?? should i call them to ask? wah!! ayoko na.

--

i hope that you're not freaking hitting on my friend.. did you realize that if you start hitting on her, this will be the 3rd friend you're hitting on?! i hope that you were just being freakishly nice. grr... i'm freaking.

I made a Quiz for you! <A HREF="Take">http://www.quizyourfriends.com/yourquiz_IM.php?quizname=050411054152-758193">Take my Quiz!</A> and then <A HREF="Check">http://www.quizyourfriends.com/scoreboard.php?quizname=050411054152-758193">Check out the Scoreboard!</A>

do the quiz ah!

my tooth still hurts.

movie watched: Blue Crush
hotness factor: 10! definitely!! rawr. i want to surf..

only 6 days until i find out my ateneo results. *crosses fingers* i realized yesterday how hard it's going to be for me to be distant from my besties. that would be.. well, all of them. since they're all going to ateneo. bastards. lol. kidding.

who wants to join my star wars marathon? damn. i can't seem to find episode 4 and episode 2. how the heell will i start this marathon? grr..

new crush: ROB THOMAS! have you seen his new video? *whapak!*

it was monday yesterday. today is tuesday. hrmm.. i wonder how it went. he didn't reply when i asked him. hrmm..

Band Playlist for May 21 (which i still haven't told my parents about):
Don't Speak by No Doubt [it's the let's kill manok song]
Collide by Jars of Clay
please comment about these songs! be honest!

what is a torch? we were chatting last night and issa said i've got to torch when we do collide. but i don't know what it is. and she couldn't explain it so she goes "never mind." hrmm..

sacki!!!! come back already! me want to go SCUBA and bring my mommy. but first, i've got to learn. hehe.. she really wants someone to go with her. anyway.. if i get really good, can i go on that shark dive?? hehe..

The chance for unrequitted love to finally reach its wall..

Next movie to watch: Le Divorce? i have no idea. being bored out of my brain isn't fun, it isn't fun at all!

christian bautista, marry me! i think i'll go buy his album tomorrow. hehe..

so it's not a secret anymore, go kick me.

2 guitars. how will i dance? rawr.

baguio in 2 weeks! i can't wait! myke's going to be there! yey!

it's nono's birthday on saturday. rawr.

ragnarok launch today. pweh. invitation only. pweh.

reminder to self: go bug 7 day trial during one of their rehearsals.

fuck it. fuck it. fuck it.

i've been bugging my dad to allow me for tomorrow. god. i hate asking for his permission to go out. it's so hard. he doesn't fucking take me seriously. it takes me 24 hours before i can get him to say yes. that's probably why i hardly go out. it's so fucking hard to ask permission. it's just so fucked up. i'm so fucking frustrated already. what the fuck. i can't wait to be more independent. i hate being this fucked up. it's just so fucked. fuck i can't saying fuck. i just really hate it. why the fuck can't he fucking just give me a yes or no. or a fucking no with a fucking good reason. not just the fucking "ayoko lang". fuck.

Name 3 schools you went to
     1. OBMCI Dasma
     2. AC
     3. uhh.. i forget.

Name 3 favorite fastfood chains
     1. KFC
     2. McDo
     3. Chowking

Name 3 things in your bag when you go out
     what bag?

Name 3 favorite Hangouts
     1. My room
     2. power plant
     3. starbucks

Name 3 favorite songs
     1. Sunday Morning by No Doubt
     2. The Reason by Hoobastank
     3. My Dear by Kjwan

Name 3 favorite sports
     1. soccer
     2. basketball
     3. Badminton

Name 3 things you would like to do right now
     1. go shopping
     2. go to the beach
     3. choose a freaking college

Name 3 most valuable material possession
     1. ipod
     2. camera
     3. drum sticks.

Name 3 things you are addicted to
     1. weed? lol. uhh.. blogging
     2. taking pictures
     3. music

Name 3 expenses in school
     1. freaking SIOPAO
     2. pepsi
     3. prepaid cards. (lol.)

Name 3 career choices
     1. education (secodary)
     2. communication
     3. bs psychology

Name 3 goals in 2005
     1. get this band going
     2. get good grades in college
     3. think

Name 3 plans for this week
     1. Redbox with The Sarks
     2. sleep
     3. see z

Name 3 favorite drinks
     1. pepsi
     2. water
     3. Gatorade

Name 3 childhood superheroes
     1. spiderman
     2. the flash
     3. power rangers

Name 3 friends that you miss most
     1. mica
     2. tanya
     3. polly

Name 3 favorite movies
     1. star wars
     2. lord of the rings
     3. spiderman

Name 3 favorite colors
     1. Blue
     2. red
     3. Orange

Name 3 favorite books
     1. princess diaries by meg cabot
     2. to kill a mockingbird by harper lee
     3. all american girl by meg cabot

Name 3 favorite local bands
     1. kjwan
     2. bamboo
     3. rivermaya

Name 3 favorite foreign bands
     1. something corporate
     2. Maroon 5
     3. no doubt

--

i've cooled down. kumain kasi ako ng ice monster. pweh. gusto ko pa rin pumunta bukas. namimiss ko na si jhoon. pweh. haha.. ayan. wala nang fuck. pweh nalang.

--

if fuck means sex, is sex a bad word too?

PICK A SINGER/BAND AND ANSWER THE FF QUESTIONS USING ONLY SONG TITLES/LYRICS:

1. How are you feeling today? Wake up! It's a beautiful morning..
2. How would you describe yourself? If you could be my punk rock princess i would be your garage band king or i'm just a girl in the world.. (pweh)
3. Describe your life: it's the good adavice that you just didn't take, and who would've thourght it figures? isn't it ironic?
4. What bothers you most? the chance for unrequitted love to finally reach its wall
5. What is your weakness? poprocks & coke (lol.)
6. What do you want to be when you grow up? hey megalomaniac.. (labo. kidding..) uhma.. i want to be a supermodel.. pweh.. i'm still thinking.. ah, eto.. i'll be there someday, i can go the distance. i will find my way if i can be strong.. haha.. ang labo.
7. What in your life do you want to change? ang aking panaginip inakala'y tunay na pag-ibig
8. Best advice you’ve ever gotten: ther'es a rainbow always after the rain.. (tangina ang baduy)
9. Nicest thing anyone can ever say to you: she wants to be a model.. she wants to hear she's beautiful..
10. Wise words for the person reading this: i hope you have the time of your life

so i was talking to ez while playing sims last wednesday night (or morning..) i scared the shit out of him when i told him my ghost stories. lol. he slept at 5 am, but we put down the phone at 4-ish. haha! nice going ez!

anyway.. i played sims until 5 am while texting with niel. he was still awake! wah! then i slept until around 8 am to dress up and stuff cause we were going to the parlor in alabang. lol.

left the house at 930ish and got to the parlor at 10ish. and this is me with straight hair:

i call this the constipated look. lol.

so anway.. after the parlor we did more stuf blah blah then i headed to glorietta to meet up with mk.

we ate in friday's. pictures are up! http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl7. and yeah. so there. haha..

i met up with z for awhile too! and a couple of other people. nice meeting everyone. hehe..

watched ring 2. pweh.

got home and had a horrible toothache. fell asleep with the clothes i wore that day. rawr. haha.. i cried myself to sleep man.

woke up. online for awhile. swam with my brother. excercised. and now i'm here.

pweh. saging sayang!

this is me with kulot hair. still!

mady villavicencio: they said you can manage us
mady villavicencio: yay
nicole: really? *woot woot*

so let me start by saying.. *woot woot* 7 day trial will not expire. *woot woot* now... something to do. stuff to think about. people to boss around.. (kidding.)

anyway.. so i was swimming today when it hit me. i'm turning 18 in a few months and there's a big question in my head, waiting to be answered. will my dad be there? will he actually fly from the US to see his first born turn 18? and when i see him, how will i react? what will i say? what will i do? i haven't seen this man for almost 15 years! that's more than half my life! it would be so great to see him though. for him to be here on that big day. but i doubt it. i've been let down before, and i'm not getting my hopes up again.

i think summer's getting to me. i need more stuff to do. other than play the sims. i need something productive. something.. i don't know. haha!

my hair's too short. i can't seem to tie it. and it's freakishly hot!

ooh.. sir kiko's going to be here on my debut!! *woot woot*

i want to form a new band. (no offense to my other band(s)). i just want a side band. kind of like how kjwan started out with marc abaya.. (i think). haha..  so if anyone's looking for a bandmate, i'm right here.

i'll leave my fears behind cause tonight i'll be right at our side..

FINAL SUMMER SLAM 5 LINEUP

1:00 – 1:10 – KIKO MACHINE
1:15 – 1:40 – TROPICAL DEPRESSION
1:45 – 1:55 – SHARDS OF ICE
2:00 – 2:10 – MILK N' MONEY
2:15 – 2:25 – AMBASSADORS * (from Cebu)
2:30 – 2:40 – NUNCYSPUNGEN * (from Cagayan de Oro)
2:45 – 2:55 – D2NATION * (from Pampanga)
3:00 – 3:10 – JEEPNEY JOYRIDE
3:15 – 3:40 – ITCHYWORMS
3:45 – 4:10  –ORANGE N LEMONS
4:15 – 4:25 – SHEILA AND THE INSECTS
4:30 – 4:55 – CHICOSCI
5:00 – 5:10 – COG
5:15 – 5:25 – WUNJO

+++++ INTERMISSION FOR EVENING SHOW (5:30- 5:55) ++++
           (Performances by BLOW & MAYONAISE)

6:00 – 6: 25 – CHEESE  (light show)
6:30 – 6:55  – KITCHIE NADAL (light show)
7:00 – 7:25  – 6CYCLEMIND  (light show)
7:30 – 7:55  – AGAW AGIMAT
8:00 – 8:25  – SPONGECOLA  (light show)
9:00 – 9:25  – KAMIKAZEE
9:30 – 9:55  – P.O.T.  (light show)
10:00 – 10:10 – DRT
10:15 – 10:25 – SKYCHURCH
10:30 – 10:55 – GREYHOUNDZ  (light show)
11:00 – 11:55 – KJWAN  (light show)
12:00 – 12:25 – VALLEY OF CHROME

+++++ FIVE-MINUTE INTERMISSION+++++

12:30 – 12:55 –BAMBOO  (light show)
1:00 - 1:25 – THE DAWN  (light show)
1:30 – 1:55 – KAPATID
2:00 – 2:25 – SLAPSHOCK
2:30 – 2:55 – TYPECAST
3:00 – 3:10 – MOYG
3:15 – 3:25 – PARAMITA
3:30 – 3:40 – DREIGN
4:30 – 4:45 – CHECK EXPERIMENT

+++END+++

i want to go!!!!! we'll see..

GIGSKED

APR 12: Blue Onion, Eastwood (Ragna Launch)
APR 30: Pulp Summer Slam 11pm
MAY 13: Pioneer Show (RT Event)
MAY 14: MTV Lokal Cebu
MAY 15: Olongapo Convention Center (Ragna Tour)
MAY 28: Baywalk Plaza, Malate
----------------------------------------------
DALIRI AND SURFACE ARE NOW PLAYING ON RADIO AND TV!!!
PLEASE CONTINUE VOTING!!!

may 13. may 13. may 13. may 13.

i wasn't shocked at all. i don't know. maybe i was somewhat expecting that anyway. i had a great big feeling. i guess i know him that well already. haha..

hurt? not at all! i feel normal. anything he does, doesn't affect me. i just want to kick him for what he did to my friend. does that make sense?

at last we're together again, can we be friends with benefits?

lol. i love that line for some reason. i don't know why. hahaha..

i watched ring 2 today with my dad. it was some kind of scary and funny. it's fun watching with my dad. and he bought me hellblazer. *woot woot* i think naomi watts is hot. lol.

mady, how'd practice go?

dino, where are you!?

kacki, i love you to bits!! no worries!

i'm currently chatting with an old friend of mine. i don't know what got me to chatting with him, i just am. it's amazing. i miss this guy oh so so.. we're currently planning on how to burn ateneo without getting caught. haha.. and he spells caught as cought. tsk tsk..

i chatted with manok's lover boy. lol.

a. Post the names of 10 of your favorite actors/actresses
b. See who can guess which is your favorite movie by each.
c. Once someone guesses right, bold that row and include the movie.

1. Keanu Reeves - Constantine
2. Tom Hanks - Forrest Gump
3. Heart Evangelista - Bcoz of You
4. Viggo Mortensen - LOTR
5. Mandy Moore - A Walk To Remember
6. Toby McGuire - Spiderman
7. Hilary Duff
8. Katie Holmes
9. Harrison Ford - Star Wars
10. Sean Connery - James Bond

tomorrow i either give my ateneo reject speech or my atenista na ako speech. whichever it is. let it be good.

Dear God,
Please let tomorrow be a good result. Whatever I get, let it be for You. Amen.

i bought new shoes! their red.

i am nervous. i am scared. i am fucking frightened.

Lord I offer my life to You, everything I've been through... kahit anong man ang resulta bukas Lord, ikaw na bahala.

haha.. no sarmiento. oh well.

all my life (or high school life at least) i've dreamt of studying in the Ateneo. now those dreams have been shattered. but i don't blame anyone. i don't feel bad. i don't know why.

maybe i'll find clarity once i get to la salle. i'm going back there in a few minutes to find out what my course is.

maybe la salle won't be so bad. i'll be with my band. i'll have a new set of friends. i like my course. i get to ride the mrt. i don't know. what does He have instored for me there?

as antonton said, "i'll just have to prove myself at DLSU." may next year pa naman diba? masmadali naman siguro mag transfer. haha.. tingnan natin.

la sallista ako pero sa basketball atenista ako. pweh.

i somehow found clarity when i found out my course today. somewhat.

i am going to DLSU. something i never expected from myself. i don't think my parents expected that either. i will be taking up BS Psychology. this is the course i want. no wait, this is the course that You want.

You are one amazing Fellow. and You rock.

this whole year i searched for what i wanted to do, what i wanted to be. i was never sure of wanting to become a teacher, and so i applied for education as last choice. i never expected You to want this from me. never. but here i am doing what You want. and i thank You.

--

my new idol:

chatting is always fun. yesterday, i was feeling really, err, bad. not because i didn't get into the school i wanted, but because of something else.. anyway, and people invited me to a bunch of conferences. reading their conversations and butting into some made me feel so much better. i stopped crying. so thanks to all the people i chatted with! you guys rock.

i wonder what my life in la salle would be if my change course wasn't accepted. imagine that, i'll be taking up AB Philippine Studies major in Mass Media. it's an all filipino course. that'd kill me. i'd probably drop on the first month or something.

i'm glad i got my BS Psych. anyone else taking up BS Psych? i'm excited! as in superly. i don't know why. i want to enroll already!! i want to tour la salle. orientation is on may 19 and 20! *woot woot*

i am going to love la salle.

don't make me want to give you up..

i love that line. i love no doubt. don't you?

funny.. someone added me up. does that mean that he reads what i write? how is it that you and i don't talk? i don't want anything from you. i just want to be friends. i don't like that awkward feeling every time i see you. i want to be able to say "hi" with a smile and little chit chats. but it seems to me that it'll never happen. sucks.

i love my band. the original three atleast. (that would be a good name for a band if we were acoustic.. lol.) i would do anything for them! bambam, i'm here for you!

i'm going to Baguio in a few days and my cousins and i need to have a presentation for Lola Luz's birthday. anyone with any suggestions? please please, help us! hehe..

i still can't wait for enrollment. kristine and i plan to meet up at mcdonald's so that we can go there together. and i plan to bug maita and anton once i see them. hehe.. wala lang. wah! i can't wait!!!

manok!!! i miss you!!

friends! suppot fahrenheit on April 22 for the Earth Day thing in the Tomas Morato Area at . Other bands playing are Parokya Ni Edgar and  Sponge Cola.

plus! also support my band  and Seven Day Trial on May 21 in the Bahay ng Alumni in UP Diliman, QC. it starts at 5 pm. please be there! it's 50% audience impact! oh and we need a drummer.. ahehe.. someone who can do Don't Speak by No Doubt and Collide by Jars of Clay. anyone who knows someone or anyone willing, please contact me immediately!!!

asado out.

i'm just about ready to move my blog. but i'm still thinking. hehe.. it's cute. it has a nice "confessions of a teenage drama queen" going. eaze said it's "so me". haha.. but i kind of like the green day on or the beach one since it's summer. oh well.. i'm still thinking.

as promised last night: AJ YOU SUCK! haha.. i've completely forgotten what i was going to blog about because of you!!! grr.. and i'm extremely sleepy cause you wouldn't put down the phone. lol. but it was a great conversation. :p and you owe me starbucks!!!

i'll be going to baguio tomorrow until tuesday. rawr. that's 5 days without blogging. or maybe 4 lang. and my cousins and i still haven't thought of what to do!! wahhh.. we'll probably just sing a song or something. wahh..  we're a bunch of one minute-ers. haha!! oh well.. kayang kaya yan! but please save me! feel free to text!!!

i've never been to Bahay ng Alumni, so i don't really know what the big fuss is with us playing there. haha.. it's amazing.. manok! you better start wardening soon or else i'll take over!!! bwahahaha.. we still need a drummer! sayang si saging!!!!

i didn't go to bora. so now every time i read people's blogs and it says whatever happened in bora, stays in bora.. i wonder what happened. haha.. it makes you curious. doesn't it?

me: you've got a big ass man!
tanya: gee, thanks! lol.

my back hurts. i don't know why. it just does. my tummy hurts. it's been hurting since the other day. and it REALLY hurts. it's so.. grr.. i'll have it checked soon i hope.

nikki, i think you're right. i think i have a tooth growing. it damn hurts! does that mean i can't go swimming?

oh.. the funniest thing. i was so bored last night that i decided to make some noise. so i gathered all the boxes i can find in my room and started banging on them with the pen that cat gave me for grad. then i realized, hello? i have drum sticks. after awhile, i wasn't making anymore sense so i decided to play guitar instead. haha.. rawr.

asado out.

anwar???? nooooooooooo...

it went well.

resume nalang kailangan ko.

baguio tomorrow. rawr.

i forgot what i wanted to say.

nikki: number one! am i still your number one?
me: of course you are!! what makes you think you're not?
nikki: wala lang.

some people are just plain weird sometimes. no wait, nikki's just weird. lol. but it's awfully nice to be talking to him again. haven't talked to him for ages. haha.. oh, and if you're reading this, i can finally give you a copy of the prom pictures. lol. i finally cut them!

to all lukers: have a great weekend and may God bless you!!! please someone hug benjamin and maia for me.

i'm pretty much done with my resume. i've got my biodata, educational background and my achievements. that's pretty much all i need right? i mean, i haven't really worked before, so this is all right already right?

blog has been moved. i'll put the url on my next post.

i just realized how funny it is that i say "i don't watche television" when in fact, i do. in times of great desperation and boredom, i do. i don't know, it just suddenly popped in my head. haha.. weirdo.

planning a surprise is fun. i hope i'll be allowed. it's sort of a complicated surprise. well, not so complicated. ai basta! hahaha.. daming plano, di mo alam kung ano gagawin. haha!

manok, i found a drummer. start your wardening! i found two actually. haha..

i can't wait to go to baguio. i don't know why. i get to ride a horse again. haha.. i stopped riding when i was about 11. haha.. now's a good time to start riding again i guess. pero kadiri kasi eh. ang baho. ahaha!

kacki, i really hope you go to la salle!! maybe we can have professor tullao as our teacher!! haha! and ms. toto!!!!

asado out.

nikki: stop trying to seduce people with your stati
nikawl:
nikawl: am i trying to?
nikki: i know you want me ----- uh hello?
nikawl: hi!!
nikki: ngek
nikawl: hahahaha
nikawl: it's a joke

my number one is the funniest! i swear! hahaha..

then he changes his stat to would it be my fault if i turned you on? funny funny boy!

then we go talking about the pic of iya.

nikki: this one is you
nikawl: nope
nikawl: that's iya
nikawl:
nikki: that's you kaya
nikawl: iya nga
nikki: im confuzzled
nikawl: haha
nikawl: *pat pat*
nikki: *pants*
nikki: *Sighs*
nikawl: kidding
nikawl: that was me
nikawl: hahaha
nikki: oy! haching pic!
nikawl: constipated pic yan
nikki: ha-ching!
nikawl:

SUPPORT KJWAN!

APR 30: Pulp Summer Slam 11pm
MAY 12: NBC Tent, The Fort (FHM)
MAY 13: Pioneer Center Shaw (RT Event) 8pm
MAY 14: SM Cebu Carpark (MTV event)
MAY 15: Olongapo Convention Center (Ragna Tour)
MAY 21: Plaridel, Bulacan (summer drag jam)
MAY 28: Baywalk Plaza, Malate

Just a few text messages I got over the weekend:

From Daisy (our helper): Hello Nicole, may tumawag para sa'yo from Ateneo, MR. PESTANO he wants to talk to you now he is waiting 4 ur call. 4266002 local 5157

From Mrs. V: I think whichever you choose is really on secondary now. what is impt. is that you have placed GOD at the center of your choosing and made Him feel He is THAT IMPORTANT! you have done very well and i'm so so proud of you! just don't forget to take up your 18 untis of EDUC. after cause you can't teach without them. and yes, GOD is amazing!

From Mica: THIS is His will!

haay.. such a wonderful weekend indeed. yes folks, I'M GOING TO ATENEO!! i got my call last friday. it was interesting actually. i couldn't believe it. You are truly amazing. AB English Literature, here I go!!

You have made me believe even more. such an amazing Fellow You really are. and i love You for that. and as Mrs. V said, my choice will be secondary but it will be all for You.

i never prayed for this. all i said was if it's Your will, You'll find a way. and You did.

wah! up to know i can't believe that this is happening! i'll be with my best friend! and a lot of other people from the sarkies!!! wahhh.. and merk! i hope we're in the same building man. haay..

thanks for all the people who congratulated me!!! i love you all!!! and mia, sleepover galore na 'to!!!!

tomorrow, i confirm my slot. eto na!

ATTACK!!!

--

i want to paste this for old times sake..

When the visions around you,
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surround you,
Are secrets and lies
I'll be your strength,
I'll give you hope,
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call,
Was standing here all along..

And I will take
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you
This I promise you

I've loved you forever,
In lifetimes before
And I promise you never...
Will you hurt anymore
I give you my word
I give you my heart (give you my heart)
This is a battle we've won
And with this vow,
Forever has now begun...

Just close your eyes (close your eyes)
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you..
This I promise you..

Over and over I fall (over and over I fall)
When I hear you call
Without you in my life baby
I just wouldn't be living at all...

And I will take (I will take you in my arms)
You in my arms
And hold you right where you belong (right where you belong)
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you baby

Just close your eyes
Each loving day (each loving day)
I know this feeling won't go away (no..)
Every word I say is true
This I promise you

Every word I say is true
This I promise you
Ooh, I promise you...

i wonder kung may natamaan... besides you d. bwahahaha!!

i learned at a young age not to believe in promises.

gets mo? gets ko.

who wants to watch can this be love with me? yes, i just watched it. but i'm more than willing to watch all over again! hehe..

i'm not used to this.. not texting. not talking. i texted.. no reply. ho humm.. but oh well, i guess you just don't feel like it or something. i hope you're doing fine.

haha.. watching can this be love is weird when you're with your aunt. i mean, i don't mind. but i imagined it to be so much better when you're with a partner. haha.. baduy na kung baduy. masarap lang isipin.

speaking of a partner. my friend and i were talking on the phone awhile ago and we talked about "what we wanted in a guy". we made a list. haha.. (ang kaweirdohan ko nga naman)
- doesn't smoke
- doesn't drink.. much
- isn't there 24/7 (makes you want to miss him.. LOL)
- trustworthy and gives you trust
- most of all.. makes you feel like you're the most beautiful (not the hottest) girl in the world. haha!

let's end there. i'll be posting a lot of friends only posts.

i want to go out tomorrow. with friends. i don't know. i'm sick of this place. i need to stop listening to a song. damn it. i need to laugh. i need to feel better. like the way i felt this morning when i was with my friends. time well spent.. i need to feel better. SO much better.. i don't know. i don't want to feel bad anymore.

hope is such a waste. every breath you take you give me the burden's bitter taste... or something like that. speak slowly. my heart is learning... stop this burning now.

i need someone to talk to.. from the barkada.. but who..

wah!! after a long day of blah and loneliness, i decided to go to the luke mass. it's was the first luke mass after the weekend and my own first luke mass in a few err, years? haha.. it was so different! so many people showed up and it was great seeing people i haven't seen for such a long time!

there were a lot of new lukers which made me feel kind of old because well, i should be in antioch already! haha.. half of the people around me were people i didn't even know!! but it was great spending time with them anyway.

pictures from today will be up soon. http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl8. wah!!! rami ko nang webshots. multiply nalang kaya?

so anyway.. thank you gab for the ride to starbucks. they dropped me off on their way to mcdonalds. hehe..

wah! i feel so much better than last night. SO so much better. i believe a few people were sort of shocked to see me. haha..

antioch na 'to! someone please join with me! manok? are you intersted? june 3-5 if i'm not mistaken.

rawr. i can't wait to go back. hopefully i'll be in the next meeting. and i can't wait for water espionage!! i hope i get to be in a good team. hehe.. wuhoo!!! summer's going to rock.

let's see.. what did i do today?

i woke up, read messages and smiled. haha.. haven't smiled like that for awhile. nice messages. rawr.

kacki, go for nursing. i'm sure you'll do well there. follow your heart and where you think He wants you to go.

antioch! june 3-5! who's with me? better to join now, right before college! hehe.. feeling ko when i get to college it'll be harder cause i'll be loaded with work. hehe.. wuhoo!

martina said 1st year's not that hard yet. i sure hope so! my uncle said it'll be the shock of my life! haha.. weird..

gelaine pangalinan: tito gian is goin home sa may 12...
nikawl: yeah i know!
nikawl: it's weird hearing someone say tito gian
gelaine pangalinan: y?
gelaine pangalinan: its supposed tro be tito greg?
gelaine pangalinan: uncle greg?
nikawl: i call him gian
nikawl:
gelaine pangalinan: gian?

haha.. it's funny.

i need more things to do! raule! mia! gimmik na please! somewhere cheap. hehe.. wala na akong pera. and i need to buy new books. or you guys can lend me some. i have no more books here at home. damn.. we need to go on a sleepover. wala bang malapit na books for less sa rockwell? ang mamahal ng mga libro sa fully booked eh. ooh.. let's watch the interpreter! i love sean penn!

oh! there's this new book that my family's kind of obssessing about now. "chic meets fan" by kitty go. it's funny cause its my mom's and she hasn't read it but 3 people from the household have read it. haha! i have plans of reading it.. after my mom. i don't know what it's about though.

i've read by the river piedra i sat down and wept twice. tama ba yun? i just call it by the river. anyway.. good book. sad, but good. i think that's what caused my sudden loneliness the other day.

dreams need work. i love the whole "risking" thing and stuff like that. rawr.. haven't risked much for anything actually. maybe i should. ho humm..

next book.. i'm choosing from Possession by A.S. Batt, Harry Potter V (oh yes i haven't read it yet!) or The Alchemist. which shall it be? any comments?

there's a book i want to buy but can't seem to find. confessions of an heiress by paris hilton. it seems intersting. or that book i saw oprah advertising the other day. damn, i've forgotten. bergundoff blondes is it? man, i want to read too many things.

man! it's so hot! i was in north edsa today and damn! so so hot!

meeting tomorrow! wuhoo!! i can't wait.

to raule & mia: how about the week after mother's day? may 9? 10? just as long as it's not thursday. thursday's are reserved for luke masses. and saturday's are reserved for meetings. oh, except for this thursday because it's for the love of manok.

let's see.. ah! here we go..

i went to the meeting today! it was my first first meeting after the weekend! if ye get what i mean? hehe.. it was loads of fun! i think my pants are dirty. anyway..

so we started off by singing a few songs [which i've already forgotten] with all the actions and stuff. then we sat in a circle and played zip zap zoom. it was fun.

then we played the "hi i'm ___. i joined the ____ weekend and i can do ___." rawr. it was fun watching everyone do their ___'s. hehe.. joel came before me, which meant i had to do what he did. but i didn't. lol. merc came before rich, now what rich did was hella hard. haha!

then we sang some songs again, prayed and ended the meeting. fun fun.

now i'm home. again revived and feeling better. much better.

milk makes me fart. i drink milk every night. lol. wuhoooo...

i think i'm on a sugar high. or something like that. probably from eating so much while watching spanglish. which reminds me.. i haven't finished it yet. lol. ok lang, i've watched it before. but i think my player's still on pause. hrmm..

it's amazing! what's amazing? damn it. i stood up to get my phone and i've completely forgotten what i was going to say. damn it. haha!