I'M BAAAACCCCKKKK!!!! alive and with signal!

*ouch* anyway... let's start. oct 29 2004. i woke up and took a bath immediately, hoping to maybe get to use the internet for a while. and i was able to but got diconnected after a while. woke up my parents, jumped on their bed. went to the airport. tito ambeth wasn't able to catch the flight cause he was stuck in dumaguete!! WAHAHA. poor guy. he arrived sunday. we left monday.

the flight was err.. deadly. thank God for the free CANDIES!! haha.. yummy fox's candy. anyway.. i read a little of les mis and slept a little. when we got to palawan there was no signal!! DEYM!! we rode a jeepney for about 15 minutes and a boat for about 45 minutes or so.

it was BEAUTIFUL! the water was WOW. i cannot describe what i saw... when we got to Lagen Island we were welcomed by people i don't know haha! and we were given that leaf necklace thing. FEELING AMAZING RACE. haha.. then when we got to the lobby there were people singing. haha.. and NUTS!! we arrived there at around 3 pm, so you can imagine how hungry we all were!!!

LUNCH WAS SERVED. yum. i didn't know that the US ambassador to the Philippines was with us the whole time!!! hahaha.. right.. anyway..

after lunch, we were off to our rooms and rested for a while. then we swam since we were able to get beach front cottages. after that we went to the pool nd blah blah. dinner was MONGOLIAN BARBECUE. YUMMY!!! i felt like i was in heaven. i got dark na ata. hehe.. then i read a little of les mis and went to bed.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CARLO CORONEL!!

oct 30 2004 i woke up pretty early because of isabel's kicking in the bed. rawr. so i read a little more les mis while she read my philisophy book. nice.. a 10 year old understanding philosophy. and she liked it!

changed then off to breakfast. woke up my parents then off to the boat!!! we went to this place where we had our intro dive. it was again BEAUTIFUL!!! haay.. i found NEMO!!! haha.. i touched him even!! the dive master made me touch the fishies and even saw a star fish! i wanted to see a shark. LOL. the 15 minutes under water was incredible. i want to learn how to dive now. sacki!!! you should've seen it. i learn how to dive and when you get back we dive together!

after that we went snorkling and i tried a little sun bathing. lol. didn't work. my color came back after a while. wala talagang pag asang umitim. then we had lunch in this island. food sucked but the water was GREAT.

then we headed to the small lagoon. it was again very BEAUTIFUL. i was kayaking with my mom. haha.. we were the reckless ones. everyone else had a sense of direction. lol.

after that tiring kayaking we headed to Miniloc Island for a swim and isabel and i TRIED to build a sun castle while reynan (our guide for the vacation) made gabrielle a bird and a fish made out of leaves. nice.. then we fed the fish. one was bigger than gab!! she was shocked and panicked a little to see that jack fish as big as her!! we were snorkling pa naman. haha! then we saw a blue star fish. i have a picture with it. YEY!

then we headed back to lagen.. watched the sunset even. then while we talked about whale sharks and dolphins, my mom goes, "dolphin!" and we all looked and the boat slowed down and BY GEORGE! we saw dolphins!!!! 3 groups of them!!!!! for about 30 minutes we were there just watching them! i got pretty good pictures of them too!!! grabe!!! galing... it was BEAUTIFUL.. they say that when you see dolphins there are 4 times as many underwater. we saw 10.. wow. 40 dolphins.

when we got back to lagen, we all jumped to the pool, took a bath, ate dinner, watched annie in the conference room with isabel and went to bed. satisfied.

oct 31 2004 HAPPY HALLOWEEN!! i completely forgot. anyway.. i woke up again and read little again. changed and off to breakfast i went.

we rode a speed boat to the cathedral cave which smelled really bad but was BEAUTIFUL!!! then we rode our banca and on our way to the next cave we saw yet again.. DOLPHINS!!! wowee!! this time we only saw 2 times 4 that's 8. but hey, superlee galing! they said that when you see dolphins surface, it means that it'll rain. and sure enough, it did! drizzle lang actually..

then we went to the next cave.. i didn't like it there very much. it smelled bad and i think i'm claustrophobic. or whatever. anyway.. after that we headed out snake island. it's a sand bar shaped like a snake hence the name. it was funky actually. the water in one side of the island was cold and on the other side warm. weird.. we wanted to see sea cows! but we didn't oh well.

then we headed to the next island where we ate lunch and met up with tito ambeth who saw dolphins on his way to the island. food wasn't that good again but the beach was yet again beautiful. we had it all to ourselves. the waves were extremely strong though. good enough for surfing but had no equipment. darn.

to the big lagoon we go. now here's the adventure!! i was on a kayak with my mom and we kayaked to the big lagoon which was 6 times as big as the small lagoon. hehe.. then my dad who was with yaya and antonio realized that there boat had a hole and since they can't turn back had to stop every once in a while to let the water out. then i transferred to him and antonio to my mom.

tita aleth saw a baby baracuda!!! creepy. we were on a raft for a while since gabrielle wanted to swim but some of us (i.e. me!) were scared because of that baracuda that tita aleth saw. after a while we left and daddy and i started to kayak. we raced with isabel and tito jojo! but then.. dun dun dun.

mama couldn't kayak well so we tied them to us. and since we were slowly sinking, daddy and i had to row real fast. when we got out of the lagoon, the waves were really strong and we were still kind of far from the banca. so fast paddling we did!! half way there we weren't moving anymore and so my dad took out the rope that held mom's kayak. with the strong waves (remember! good enough for surfing!) i panicked and everyone else that were already in the banca started to panic too!!!

biglang woosh!!! my dad and i were in the water and i was really scared cause it was deep and baka may shark (hehe!). note: dad and i watched open water before going to palawan. my dad asked me if i could swim to the banca and so i did and left him there hanging on to antonio's kayak. then reynan swam to the rescue and we were all safe. good thing it was me in that kayak and not antonio!

when i got to the banca, i dried myself up and went back to sun bathing as if nothing happened. (hehe!) dad was kind of startled since 1, he didn't know how to swim and 2, he hates the water!!

after that we headed back to lagen and arrived early so we swam in the pool. after that i took a bath and realized that i was extremely red (woot woot!!) it sucks cause it hurts.

then we ate dinner and had a little halloween party. there was a fortune teller so i went ot her for the heck of it. useless. haha.. anyway.. off to bed i went.

oh and can i just share? at night, every time they fix your bed they have lush candies for you and a leaf that say good night or sweet dreams or yeah. there. hehe..

nov 1 2004 i woke up at 8 today. the latest yet for my whole trip. changed and ate breakfast. since the banyo there stank i decided to not take a bath (hehe..) packed my stuff and i was ready to go by 9. we were leaving at 1130. HAHA. so i entertained myself by walking around lagen and talking to the staff.

pretty interesting. they all seemed to like amazing race. haha! in fact the thing where they climbed? it was right beside where i stayed! cool noh? and where they kayaked? exagge ka layo! where the searched for clams? 200 meters by 200 meters!! exagge naman.

oh and that chip guy? the ass! he cheated! basta not the guy that won ha. i might have their names wrong eh. anyway..

finally it was 11! time to go home! time to get signal! we said our good bye's to reynan and he gave the kids some hats made out of leaves! it's superly galing!! haay.. and now i'm home. it was a bugger flying back...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MS CLARICE AND DAN DAN LAYUG!

things i want to do before i die:
☼ own an island in Palawan
☼ work in El Nido
☼ learn how to dive
☼ graduate from a good college and become a teacher in AC (OH YEAH!)
☼ fall in love (rawr...)
☼ SURF
☼ go to Amanpulo, Bali and Phuket.. oh and La Union!
☼ go back to Palawan
☼ sky dive
☼ wind surf

places i want to go to before i die:
☼ bora
☼ palawan
☼ la union
☼ bali
☼ phuket
☼ hawaii

my work here is done. hurting.. very red. mission accomplished. i now have a TAN. *bows*

i want to live in palawan
<`anton-> me too. pag sobrang yaman ko na. dun na ako titira.
ako rin
may sarili akong island mehn
the rawr island
<`anton-> pwde ako mag tayo ng bahay dun?
haha
with rent!
<`anton-> tsk di pwde yan nicole
bakit
it's MY island!
<`anton-> share nga
<`anton-> haha
with my island i have to own a yacht, 2 speed boats, diving equipment, surfboards (atleast 6), jet skis, hobie cats of all sizes..
body guards, maids and butlers..
<`anton-> hahaha.
a home theater, a room for video games..
hrmm...
a BAR
<`anton-> a club!
a nice pool with a nice view of the sunset... tapos yung tubig umaagos sa dagat
<`anton-> tapos puro dolphins! haha
YEAH!
tapos may shark
whale shark
<`anton-> may dugong! haha
OO!!
i wanted to see one..
tapos aayusin yung beach front
tapos may at least 3 houses
isa sayo
isa sa akin
isa sa guests
haha
<`anton-> haha
<`anton-> tama
island natin dapat
lol
<`anton-> tama tama. tpos exclusive
oo
tapos beer 24/7
yun lang libre
<`anton-> hahaha.
mahal yung tubig
kung gusto nila ng tubig kumuha sila sa dagat
paste ko tong conv sa blog
haha
<`anton-> hahaha may bayad

GENREV NIGHT!

Friday, November 19, 7pm
ECR TV Studio
#51 10th St. Rolling Hills Village, New Manila QC

woah.. i really feel like i'm still on the banca. my whole world's turning.. rawr!!! go to the genrev convert!! rawr.. i hope i can go...

i belong to You, You belong to me. hold me in Your arms, set this spirit free. take my hand, touch my heart, fill my life... I BELONG TO YOU.

you've just got to love life!

worship You
Lord I am weak
Lord I am poor
Lord I am Yours
I lay down all of me

Lord take my heart
Take all I am
Cause all I want to do
Is to worship You

Lord You're my strength
Lord You're my all
Lord I am Yours
I lay down all of me

http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl3 if you want to see the dolphins and the nice view of palawan. and my darkeness na rin. LOL.

belaterd happy birthday bernS!!!

Welcome To My Life
Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desparate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding
No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like what it's like

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
With no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like, what it's like
[x2]

Welcome to my life [x3]

*that was me before... :D

Everything Sucks
All I ever needed was to eat popcorn with you,
Come on over,
Watch the late show,
Stay up talking until two

Today's the day you're leaving,
And tomorrow you'll be gone
You're in my heart and on my mind,
I will bring you along

Everything sucks when you're gone,
Everything sucks when you're gone

A dream of our reunion makes me crazy just to think,
How so very far away you are,
My hope begins to sink

Today's the day you're leaving,
And tomorrow you'll be gone
You're in my heart and on my mind,
I will bring you along

Everything sucks when you're gone,
Everything sucks when you're gone

It's not ok,
I've baked dinner here for two,
And it's not ok,
I've got candles lit for you,
And It's not ok,
I've got you're favorite records out,
And it's not ok,
You should have let it be,
And ran after me

Today's the day you're leaving,
And tomorrow you'll be gone
You're in my heart and on my mind,
I will bring you along

Everything sucks when you're gone,
(I want you! I need you!)
Everything sucks when you're gone
(I want you! I need you!) [x2]

MXPX rocks.

rawr.. funny, someone said sorry to me today. hrmm.. that's really funny. weird if you think about it actually.

school tomorrow. rawr.. eto na. vacation's over folks!

wahhhh!!!!!! ugh.. this day wasn't a very good way to start 2nd semester. rawr. that's all.

my computer is freakin' busted. damn it.. it keeps restarting and it doesn't even reach windows. damn it.. it'll be a while until i get to open genrev again. UGHHHH.. this computer doesn't open genrev.net. i don't know why. *tear*

during computer today, we were given time to surf the net. rawr.. i was going to post a blog but then.. RAWR. my computer wouldn't open tabulas. UGH.. annoyance talaga. i'm dying here. i'm so frustrated. anyway.. maybe i can figure out how to open genrev here soon.. i have something to post. rawr..

anyway.. mrs. v, sir benjie and sir torres were absent today. i went to the clinic during math time because i was feeling woozy. and i mean WOOZY mehn. i felt like i was still in the banca. they let me sleep but that didn't work. when i got back to the classroom, mrs. acuba was giving UT scores. UGH. i'm dyingggg.....

haay... let's hope that tomorrow won't be such a bugger.

I'M PEELING!!! WAHHHHH....

break concert on saturday and i haven't asked permission. haha! i will today. let's go bamboo! let's go 6 cycle mind! let's go uhh.. fahrenheit! let's go wake up your seatmate! yey...

lapit na fair. support the horror booth and lemoande!!! :D

talking to your busmate who passed forensic is never a good idea. we talked about bush vs. that other guy, the difference of theology and philosophy, dissing in blogs and atheism and hating God. not that we were. we were just curious about it. actually, she was.

so there.. i'm done. tito ambeth has to use the computer. bugger. i hate sharing computers.....

What Do Angels Look Like?

Like the little old lady who returned
~ your wallet yesterday ~
Like the taxi driver who told you that your eyes
~ light up the world, when you smile ~

Like the small child who showed you
~ the wonder in simple things ~

Like the poor man who offered to
~ share his lunch with you ~

Like the rich man who showed you that it
~ really is all possible, if only you believe ~

Like the stranger who just happened to come along,
~ when you had lost your way ~

Like the friend who touched your heart,
~ when you didn't think you had one to touch ~

Angels come in all sizes and shapes,
~ all ages and skin types ~

Some with freckles, some with dimples,
~ some with wrinkles, some without ~

They come disguised as friends, enemies,
~ teachers, students, lovers and fools ~

They don't take life too seriously,
~ they travel light ~

They leave no forwarding address,
~ they ask nothing in return ~

They wear sneakers with gossamer wings,
~ they get a deal on dry cleaning ~

They are hard to find when your eyes are closed, But
~ they are everywhere you look, when you choose to see ~

i can't believe it.. you're gone. i miss you. and to think that it's only been a day. oh the pain.. oh the hurt and suffering. i can't take it. i'm going insane. i miss you too much. i need you. i want you back. everything sucks when you're gone. my computer. i miss you. get well soon.

i realized.. so much hurt, so much pain, takes a while to regain what is lost inside.. but i hope that in time you'll be out of my mind, i'll be over you.. and when you said sorry yesterday, all the hurt and pain suddenly went away. am i over you? we'll see..

i remembered the conversation i overheard with yumi and some others about HB (did i get the name right?). about how just a simple text and that can get her to like him again for six months. (exagge naman!) i realized.. a simple one text and that can make me go nuts. probably not make me feel something again (or more), but it'll just make all the shit in the world go away. i don't know why. it just will.

i hate thinking. rawr.

to see you when i wake up is a gift i didn't think would be real
to know that you feel the same as i do is a three fold utopian dream
you do something to me that i can't explain
so would i be out of line, if i said i miss you?
i see your picture, i smell your skin on the empty pillow next to mine
you have only been gone 10 days but already i am wasting away
i know i'll see you again whether far or soon
but i need you to know that i care and i miss you...

sew this up with threads of reason and regret
so i will not forget, i will not forget
how this felt one year, six months ago i know
so i cannot forget, i cannot forget

i'm falling into the memories of you and things we used to do
follow me there a beautiful somewhere a place that i can share with you...

well i know that you don't know me anymore
it's easy to forget, sometimes we just forget
but being on this road is anything but sure
sometimes i just forget, i hope we don't forget

so many nights legs tangled tight
wrap me up in a dream with you
close off these eyes try not to cry
all that i've got to pull me through is memories of you..

it's funny how people's heads can get so big.. then after a while they realize how they've become asses but can't do anything about it anymore. i mean, what's happened is done and nothing can change that, hence.. i don't know what i'm trying to get at.

saturday's coming.. eto na. we'll see what'll happen next i guess. *sigh*

it's really nice when someone you haven't talked to or seen for such a long time pm's you or texts you. and you being on bad mood just replies "what?" and he responds with, "wala lang. i miss you. " then all of a sudden all the shit in the world is gone. even for just a minute.

rawr... everything sucks when my computer's gone.

Break 2004

SK Bel-Air, SK Dasmariñas, SK Forbes Park, SK Magallanes, SK San
Lorenzo, SK Urdaneta in cooperation with SMART BUDDY, MEG MAGAZINE, GOLD’S
GYM invite everyone to BREAK 2004 – a variety show for a cause. It’s an
assembly of the youth – a night of fun and charity. It will be held on
November 6, 2004 (Saturday 6 PM) at the Rockwell Tent, Makati City. It
will be a thrilling mix of entertainment with professional bands like
SOUTH BORDER, BAMBOO, SUGARFREE, 6CYCLEMIND and amateur bands like Chrome
Eight, Fahrenheit, Milano, Modern Amusement, Pitik, Wake Up Your
Seatmate. Amidst the plethora of talented musicians will be talented dancers
participating in the high school dance competition and throngs of
beautiful people strutting their stuff in the fashion show. VJ Iya will be
sure to keep you company in between each of these exhilarating segments
of the event. Tickets cost Php 150. 00 and the proceeds will go to
organizations like Make-A-Wish Foundation and Sister Rosalie Rendu Special
Children Center. So come and enjoy yourselves because the BREAK isn’t
over yet!

someone's mom died.. please pray her and her family.

SLA on saturday.. i cannot wait!!!

rawr.. *crosses fingers* i hope to be allowed on saturday!!!!!!

fair na! support my band and my class' booth. don't worry, it's not too scary.

anyway.. off to work. RAWR.

http://www.yuloland.com/movies/ep3teaser.mov star wars na 'to mehn!!! that url is the teaser for episode III: the revenge of the sith (maraming salamat manong tonton!!!)!!!!! wuhoo.. it comes out may 2005!!! eto na mehn, eto na!

today was a blur. i don't know. maybe my mind's too preoccupied right now. roanna, pau, rhiza and i didn't take the physics test because of the report we gave. YEY! perrrrfect..

english was aiit. i've got to start working on my outline soon!! rawr... but i'm too lazy. and i've got to make more notecards.. wahhhh!!

econ.. i've got to read. rawr. pinoy.. i think i failed the quiz. hehe.. i don't know. i've just been really lazy lately, even without my computer (i miss you dear!!) math was ok... sir torres is back.

hrmm.. after the assembly today we realized so much apathy. right yumi? bleh.. i'm concerned about it really, but then what can i do? they don't listen.

clubs.. reaction: n/a

morning prayers with slc rock! a really great way to start the day. :D

fair's coming up.. please support the horor booth and lemonade. thank you. rawr.. i hope i get a good partner for my slc shift.

tomorrow is the break concert. YEY! i can't wait to see bamboo!!! :D rawr.. we're going to have a rockin' good time tomorrow!!!

SLA tomorrow. YEY!!!! i miss those kids already. i can't wait!!!!! haay...

that's it. i think i'll go do hoemwork now... rawr.

i grew up listening to the music of bob marley and sting. and no, i never got high. haha! anyway.. and as a kid, there was this ONE song that ever so rocked my world. and that's Three Little Birds by Bob Marley. it's going to be out in Shark's Tale! i suggest that you people download it. it rocks! but it'll be a revival by sean paul and this other guy. hehe.. it's really cool!!

Three Little Birds
Woke up this morning, smiled at the rising sun
Three little birds were by my doorstep
Singing sweet songs of melodies pure and true
Saying, "This is my message to you.."

Singin' "don't worry, about a thing
cause every little thing is gonna be alright"

i am sitting here in front of the computer. waiting. wanting. thinking. tomorrow is saturday. tomorrow is the break concert. tomorrow i see you. i wonder how it's going to be. i wonder what i'm going to say. i wonder how you and i would react to each other.

If you want me to wait, I will wait for you
If you tell me to stay, I would stay right thru
If you don't wanna say anything at all
I'm happy wondering

soooo... just a few more hours to go. paranoid? not me. worried? maybe. insecure? a little. nervous? shit yeah.

i don't know. maybe the thought of seeing you again is well, a bit frightening. maybe i don't want to see you because i don't want to, err, feel anything again. i don't want to get hurt once again. i don't want to feel, how do you say this? deceived? no that's not the right word.. (let me say it in tagalog to better express it) PINAASA.

maybe it was just really stupid of me to think that something would happen. maybe i was just really... blinded. i don't know. i think i've got a knack for getting lead on. (haha!)

i'm sleepy. but i can't sleep. i can't stop thinking. i'm going to see you tomorrow. tomorrow i read something from you. hopefully. hopfully i finally find out what it is you wanted to tell me a few months ago. well.. here we go.

but every time i call you don't have time. i guess i'll never get to call you mine...

it's saturday today. in about an hour rita kwan will be picking me up. here we go nicole. good luck. you can do this.

Nandito nakaukit pa rin sa puso ko
Nang sabihin mong huwag nalang
Nandito nakatatak pa rin sa isip ko
Kung paano mo tinalikuran ang lahat

Kay bilis.. ba't umalis...
nakaka-miss
Nabigla lang..

Di ko man lamang nalaman na mawawala
Nabigla lang
Di mo man naisip na idahan-dahan

Di ako sanay sa biglaan
Unti-unti na lang sanang nawala

Hindi ba natin kayang mag-kunwari
At sabihing sige na lang
Hindi ba natin kayang dayain
Ang mga yakap sa tuwing lumalamig

haay.. 6 cycle mind rocks!! buying their album was definitely worth it. rawr.. thanks for keeping it over the weekend annie!

ahhh.. the dreaded outline. i'm getting scared for orals more and more. i haven't consulted mrs. eala for this damn outline. rawr.. i hope she extends the deadline and moves the UT. bugger.

they're only accepting TWELVE bands for macrphone. *crosses fingers* i admit that my band's not very good, but hey hey, this means a lot to us. hopefully we get in. rawr... we're very nervous. we're recording hopefully on thursday. rawr.

i'm back to trying to stop my feelings. shietttt.. i hate this oh so much. and reading other people's blogs makes it even worse. i don't want to see you again. no... i need to get completely over you before i can see you again.

damn it! why couldn't you just have waited a little more? ughhh... it's such a bugger. so frustrating. i can't even concetrate in class. or right now when i should be making my outline. UGHHHH...

today was a bugger. i woke up late. did no work for pe. TRIED to listen during pinoy. got icing all over my hand during THE. almost fell asleep in the middle of the math quiz. couldn't think during economics. was trying to cope during physics lab. ughh...

thank you hannah for making my day better. you rock!

Dear Lord, please help me through hell week. Please help me do my outline and when orals come, please stop me from crying when Mrs. Eala starts shouting at me in front of my class. :s Thank you for today. I hope You're taking good care of Bea. Please tell her that I miss her. Love, Nicole

one month since ilaw passed, you are missed my dear. VERY MUCH. keep rockin' the heavens with Kuya JC.

as tanya said, great weekend. awful day.

Why do you cry?
brought to you by Quizilla


true..?

i don't know what it is with people today and asking these question. rawr. it makes me think too much. and i hate thinking! bugger. oh well. in the past 2 weeks here are some questions that i have been asked more than thrice:

nicole, are you happy?
according to luis, he feels that if he asks this he makes a person feel how beautiful life is. rawr. my head hurts. am i happy? yes i am, i guess, at some extent. and no i'm not at another. ugh. so what is it? can you be moderately happy? or happy and not happy at the same time? bugger.
what would make me happy? an island in palawan, graduating from high school, passing physics, getting over and done with the research paper, not fearing orals, less stress, a social life, my computer back, my band in macrophone, getting into the ateneo, spurs winning the nba championships this season, meeting bamboo, marrying bamboo (which is sort of err, exagge! haha..)..
but of course, i can't have all these. especially that last one. but what can i do to make me happy? that i cannot answer.
so am i happy? i guess so. take away all the stress and give me all the love, and i'll be happy.

nicole, who is that guy you're talking about in your blog?
haha. good question!

nicole, how are you?
stressed! haha.. i mean, what senior studying in AC is not? rawr. we're all stressed out with oulines, notecards, physics, math and even the! what the? man.

so there we have it. haha.

HAPPY 35TH ANNIVERSARY SESAME STREET! (http://www.sesameworkshop.org/35/index.php)

where is the justice and equality in all this? ughh.. today wasn't a very good day. not a very good one AT ALL. i don't know.. maybe it's all the stress. i'm finally feeling it. this all started in recess when we found out the good news AND the bad news.. which i won't post here. no wait, it started when mrs. eala came to school and gave me back my outline. rawr.. i hope she extends the deadline.

i've started liking going to school less and less. soon, i'll want to stop. ughh.. i'm so frustrated already!! especially with my research paper!!!!!!!! it LOOKS like an easy topic but it's SO NOT!!!! ugh.. plus, the photocopy machine in the AC library broke, ergo, i can only photocopy by tomorrow! bugger!!!

amazing how i can still have time to write in blogs. haha.. rawr.

the english midterm wasn't so bad. i mean, i didn't study much, so hey hey! i'm lucky that the test wasn't all about the story. haha!! actually, it wasn't at all about the story. oh well.. haha. i think les miserables still rocks.

computer is starting to be stressful. since when was a non academic subject stressful? i can just imagine the end of the school year when sir callueng bombrads us with computer projects. HO MY GED.

hindi nalang babalakin ang nakaraan.. ayos lang basta't kasama konting alak lang, kahit walang pulutan. ang minsan naalala.. di magtatagal tayo ay liligaya..

economics quiz.. kaye ang did a great beatbox. math.. i am SO confused!!!!!! ughh.. physics was understandable. thanks to anne and jess. :D

Lord, I thank You for the day that has passed. I ask for Your help in all that I need to do, especially for my English paper. I thank You for the recovery of Jamie and I pray that You bless Casey now. Please give her enough strength and keep her safe. I pray for the seniors in all the we have to do. I pray for my band's demo tape which we will be recording tomorrow. I pray for my parents' store. I pray for my class. I pray for those who have gone with You up there, especially Sir Ja's dad. keep him safe there with You. i pray for tomorrow. please help and guide me through out my day. Amen.

i've never felt not having my parents around for this long. i miss them.





href="http://www.liquidgeneration.com" target="_blank">

fair fair fair!! please support lemonade!!! we'll be opening for the fair. OH YEAH!!! :D

wahh.. outline. friday tomorrow. YEY.

rawr. no comment about my english outline. i don't feel bad or anything. i just don't want to comment on it.

tomorrow i go to tahanan sta. luisa and i just can't wait!!!! :D i miss those kids already. seeing them just brightens up my week and makes me feel as if i wasn't stress at all. those 2 hours seem so long around them. i just love them!! tomorrow's activities will be GREAT. too bad it's our last session next week. *tear* but of course i'm committing myself there. hence, all debut gifts to tahanan!

i need a computer. rawr. i don't think i'd be able to make my paper here in my dad's computer. rawr... asar. anyway..

we had an orientation with the cat officers of ateneo. good job hannah! i met new friends and the food was great! haha.. i've been assigned to the gym. wuhoo!! i love my assignment! i mean our assignment. hehe..

i absolutely CANNOT wait for the FAIR!!! please support lemonade!!!! as in super please. we're really nervous. hehe.. and please wear yellow!!! yellow signifies lemonade!

wuhoo.. he sent me a text today. rawr. he'll support my band if he has time daw. well, we'll see about that then.

kudos to the freshmen band! they're really good. they taught me how to play kjon today for the song zombie. and they tried to shut me up as i sang. they were SO good that zombie is still stuck in my head right now. i hope you guys win in macrophone. :D

having this nice conversation about how guys can be so confusing with lopa is mucho grrreat!! i love lopa. she's making me think even more now. haha.. guys can be so confusing. yes, i admit that girls are a tad bit confusing too. i guess it's just hard to understand the opposite sex.

but maybe it was my fault. maybe nothing happened because i didn't let anything happen. maybe it was all because i never made time for you. maybe because i was such a snob to you at a time. maybe because at some point, i didn't want to see you or talk to you. maybe because at some point, i wasn't listening to you anymore.

what i'm trying to say is.. maybe i regret these things. and i can't say that i've lost you, because i never had you. i never gave it a chance. i never even let it start.

i've got to really stop watching these damn chick flicks. they're making me depressed. i haven't cried much, but the more i watch, the more i feel bad about everything's that happened. but nicole, what happened? NOTHING.

hello new shoes! yup.. i've got new shoes. YEY. my mom tried to help in shopping for my outfit this friday. haha.. none of which i tried was me. oh well..

this saturday will be the third saturday that i'll be seeing you. nice. hrmmmmmm... i can't live like this. wahhhhhh...

i wish every weekend was a long weekend. then it wouldn't be called a long weekend because it would be normal to have a 3 day weekend. ergo, a 4 day weekend will be the long weekend and a 3 day weekend will just be a weekend.

APYAAAAAAANNNNN!

i have a working phone. yey. now would you please text me and tell me who you are or give me your number here. thank you.

school is stressful.

slc rocks.

my class rocks.

my band rocks. we submitted a demo. finally. yey. now we pray.

school rocks.

JESUS ROCKS.

monday
movie watched: How To Deal
nice.. it made me cry yet again. sure i don't like mandy moore much but argh.. chick flicks make me cry. watching people fall in love makes me cry. it's just SO wrong. it's just not right. ughhhhh... i am SO annoyed. and today, i won't be able to talk to yam because she's on retreat but she owes me kwento about a certain someone!! wahhhh... annoyance.
people falling in love.. rawr. hate it.

today is hell.

tomorrow will be heller.

saturday will be great.

london bridge fell down. arch bridges are not safe. thank you mia.

i am tired.

i need my introduction.

now i will study for physics.

Taken from http://www.roadtripamerica.com/places/havasu.htm:

London Bridge: Alive and Well in Arizona

In 1962, London Bridge was falling down. Built in 1831, the bridge couldn't handle the ever-increasing flow of traffic across the Thames River. The British government decided to put the bridge up for sale, and Robert McCulloch, Founder of Lake Havasu City, Arizona, and Chairman of McCulloch Oil Corporation, submitted the winning bid of $2,460,000.

The bridge was dismantled, and each stone was carefully marked. Everything was shipped 10,000 miles to Long Beach, California, and then trucked to Lake Havasu City. Reconstruction began on September 23, 1968, with a ceremony including the Lord Mayor of London, who laid the cornerstone. On October 10, 1971, the bridge was dedicated.

"Hundreds of thousands of people come here every year to see the bridge," said Sue Barone of the Lake Havasu Chamber of Commerce. "I've lived here 18 years, and I've watched the whole thing develop. When I first got here, there wasn't much more than the bridge and a shop or two. Now, just look."

Lake Havasu City, which got its start as an Army Air Corps rest camp during World War II, now has over 1000 businesses, two newspapers, and a college. Remember that the next time a man comes up to you and offers to sell you a used bridge.

i've got my title page approved. YIPEE! now we have the introduction and biblio left. hehe.. oh and let's not forget to write body and conclusion. rawr.

today i shall watch because of you. wuhoo!!

after what happened today i realized that i really want to be out of there. i don't know why. i just do. and the only reason why i'm hanging on is because there are some things that i can't leave.

i love the freshmen band. they're so good. thank you for adopting me today at MTB and letting me play kjon for you. hehe.. i had fun.

today at mtb i was the only member from lemonade and i scored 2 points in the icebreaker. yehey!

GOOD LUCK AC DANCE TROUPE! do well.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SAM MENDIOLA!! NICKI LOVES YA!!

sometimes in life when you think you've made enough lemonade, life just throws you more lemons, quadruple the size. so what do you do? make more lemonade! and to make it even more interesting, you make pink lemonade!!! doesn't make sense? haha.. sucks to be you.

i thank you benjamin for a great conversation the other day about you know what and you know who. thanks for listening friend! :D

tomorrow is sam's debut. i can't wait. then bamboo on sunday. OH YEAH!

please support lemonade. we're performing on nov 26, friday at around 5 pm for the opening of macrophone and nov 27, saturday at around 430 pm for the opening of the variety show. wuhoo!

today when i got home i felt so ecstatic by what i saw on my desk. my mom went to divi today and bought a bunch of stuff for the kids. i felt so touched. i'm glad that she knows how much this meant to me. also, she left a message asking me how many people will be there tomorrow so maybe she can look for food. i love you mama.

i am so in love. you're all invited to our wedding. details to come...

ang sabi nila may anting-anting ako, pero di nila alam na ang DIYOS ang dahilang ko..

All day staring at the ceiling
Making friends with shadows on my wall
All night hearing voices telling me
That I should get some sleep
Because tomorrow might be good for something

Hold on
Feeling like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why

[Chorus]

But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I know right now you can't tell
But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see
A different side of me
I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired
I know right now you don't care
But soon enough you're gonna think of me
And how I used to be...me

I'm talking to myself in public
Dodging glances on the train
And I know, I know they've all been talking about me
I can hear them whisper
And it makes me think there must be something wrong with me
Out of all the hours thinking
Somehow I've lost my mind

I've been talking in my sleep
Pretty soon they'll come to get me
Yeah, they're taking me away

Friday:
movie watched: Bcuz of U
rawr. i need love. geoff is SO hot and so is hero and of course... HEART! lol. haaay.. i wouldn't mind watching it again.
i need that kilig feeling back.. rawr.

Saturday:
tahanan.. shopping.. friday's.. sam's debut. which was fun by the way. glad to have spent some time with stefi. :D

Sunday:
i met my fiance. haay.. i love you bamboo mañalac!!!! ira was hot too. wahhh... nathan was great on bass and vic was superb!!! my god. i will never forget the day i met my future husband. :D

research paper. byeee..

i'm probably feeling this way because i miss you. i miss being able to talk to you about whatever it is we used to talk about. about all the kabalbalans of everything. i miss being able to tell you my secrets. i miss being open to each other. i miss getting kilig every time you text me. i miss that feeling you give me when you just say hi or smile at me. i miss those days. i miss you. i can't believe everything's over. i can't believe what happened happened. but wait, what did happen? you never told me. i never told you. so what was that? it was never clear to me that there was something going on. whatever that was, it was never clear to me that that was happening. i never saw you as that person who would actually feel that. nope, never in my life would i have seen that. and i only find out now? i'm sorry. i'm sorry i never did anything. i'm sorry that i may have hurt you and i'm sure i did. i'm sorry for not listening to you when you needed me. i'm just sorry that nothing happened. i'm sorry and i can't wait to see you again. i can't wait really. this saturday, i will see you. and whatever or however we react to each other is a mystery to me. i hope we'll be fine with each other. i hope that we can start over. i miss you. that's all there is to it. i miss talking to you on the phone. i miss all your "you want to vent?" i miss all that. i miss you caring and asking me how my day went. ugh. i miss you.

and no it's not bamboo.

once an arse, always an arse. f*ck it. details to come...

english paper. ugh.

i can't wait for the fair. let's go lemonade.

i still miss you. i hope you still felt the same

wanted: ball date and possible garage band prince.

why? why did you have to leave? i woke up this morning not wanting to go to school. but you left. why? grr... how can something just come and suddenly with a blink of an eye suddenly leave???? grr... damn you rain.

school was a bummer.

thank you kacki for lending me your magazine. i am done with it. *BIG smile*

4-1, i am done e-mailing the complex model for economics.

orals na 'to. shit.

still wanted: garage band prince

so i guess you didn't get the message huh? you don't know who i'm missing. you don't know that it's you that i feel so away from. sure, being in different schools and different cities is part of being away from each other. but you've changed and i guess you just don't really care anymore. so much for having a friendship that kept me going, knowing that i had someone i could rely on. oh well. sucks to be me then.