by george! i think i found a song for myself! haha.. tell me, does this not remind you of me in some weird way? HAHA. that was a rhtorical question, but i f you wanna answer it, go ahead. yes, i am a drama queen. (happy dino?)

Drama Queen (That Girl)
There was a girl I knew who always wanted to be the one to stand out from the crowd
Always believed that she was gonna live her dreams
That what when down was gonna come around
For all the doubters, non-believers, the cynicals that once were dreamers
One of these days you'll open up your eyes
And you'll realize

That girl was a one time teenage drama queen
A hot, tough everyday wannabee
But she'll have changed her destiny
Now she's a somebody
That girl was a wild child dreamer but she found herself
'Cause she believes in nothin' else And you'll look back and you won't believe
That girl was me

Armed with an attitude that she knows how to use
She's gonna get there any way she can
Now she knows what she wants
No one is gonna stop her
Nothing's ever gonna hold her down
For all the doubters, non-believers the cynicle that once were dreamers
One of these days you'll know that you were wrong (who would know)

Life is a work of art- you gotta paint it colorful
Can make it anything you want
Don't have to stick to any rules
You don't need a high IQ to succeed in what you do
You just gotta have no doubt just believe in yourself

Doubters, non-believers, once were dreamers
One of these days you'll open up your eyes
And you'll realize

--> i will grasp immortality and make my mark. that's what i want to do.

I Do
When I'm done with thinking, then I'm done with you.
When I'm done with crying, then I'm done with you.
When I feel so tired, then I'm done with you.
Everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way
And I do.
You can't hear it, but I do.
You can't hear it, but I do.
You're trying to convince me that what I've done's not right.
I get so frustrated, I stay up every night.
You ask me for an answer, and I'm so tired and I'm up in the air.
Everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way
And I do.
You can't hear it, but I do.
You can't hear it, but I'm feeling this way just because you say
I will be ignored.
I will be denied.
I could be erased.
I could be brushed aside
I will get scared, and I will get shoved down,
But I feel like I do because you push me around.
I'm starting to ignore you, I've doubted you so long.
I'm tired of overthinking, I know you don't belong.
Now I'm asking questions - no one pushes me around.
Everybody feels this way sometimes, everybody feels this way -
And I do.
You can't hear it, but I do.
You don't seem angry, but I do.
I do.

--> my band plans to do this. well, at least i want to. hehe.. it's a pretty good song. bam wants to do this absolutely by nine days.

nicki is happy. UP won. nicki's number one is happy to because UP won. nicki and nikki are happy. yey. (*note: nicki only applies to kacki but it sounds better than saying nicole. hehe..)

double math confused nicole. yes. now nicole is very confused. thank you very much crissy and paula hernandez for being great classmates and helping nicole understand circles before her mind was in circles.

two periods of pinoy wasn't too bad for nicole. nicole thanks andrea medina for lending her your filipino hand outs. they are very useful.

for the first time for a long time, nicole reviews her economics notes and sir rodriguez does not start the lesson today with, "review! anyone? what did we learn yesterday?" oh no, wait, he did. he just didn't call nicole. darn it. rawr.

bam and nicole jammed today. sorry lemonadas, nicole and bam forgot to tell you. nicole borrowed mary's kjon. thank you mary! nicole and bam had a good jamming session minus the fact that they were freezing to death.

nicole has grown fond of incubus. maybe nicole is a late bloomer in listening to these kinds of music. nicole only started liking punk around last year when she discovered the secrets of kazaa which she does not have anymore. thank you kazaa for opening my eyes to piracy.

nicole has always heard the acoustic version of "i miss you" and has only heard the album version today. she thinks it's really good and wants lemonade to try to play this. she likes incubus now.

nicole tried to read "The Miller" today and now has a headache. it is hard to understand. but she doesn't want to disappoint mrs. eala again so she will read it over and over again until she understands it fully and knows the words by heart.

nicole crushes marlo. marlo knows and will tell his class because nicole told marlo to do that. haha..

fumoon crush ko si marlo
]marlo] no im just kidding you
]marlo] i dont know
fumoon hahaha
]marlo] hahahaha
]marlo] nyarharhar
fumoon ponyeta aatakihin nanaman ako sa puso
]marlo] totoo yan, ha!
fumoon sige..
fumoon i crush marlo
fumoon lagay ko sa quit ko
* Retrieving #ateneosucks modes...
* fumoon changes topic to 'i crush marlo'
]marlo] sige im gonna tell everyone na
]marlo] haha
fumoon sige!
--> nicole was going to tell marlo who she finds cute in his class but instead, that conversation went on.

nicole and the other seniors will watch el fili tomorrow. nicole is excited. but that would mean she won't have p6 class and economics. oh well. there's always next week. but nicole will have clubs. yey!

nicole passed the quiz tha her classmates gave her today. she is happy. nicole wishes that there will be more quizzes like that.
yesterday, nicole was prepared to get a letter of possible failure for physics and literature but they never came. nicole is again happy.

nicole had fun in her cle class. she passed the quiz. that is good.

nicole is angry. look at her picture. she looks angry.
hrmm.. nicole hates it when she sees that one of her friends are hurt. especially by the same person who's hurt her A LOT in the past (or at least she thinks it's the same person). if you know who you are then good for you. friend, it's not the end of the world. nicole has been there. she knows how it feels. what was worse about all that was that i had no one to go to because i never really told anyone. i was so pissed at him. as in, superly pissed. at that time, i was at a point of losing my best friend and my only set back was him. then that.. he just tells me that it wasn't right and doesn't give me a reason. i cried for days. all the sweet words he gave me were all of a sudden just a bunch of crap. nicole was SO sad. nicole loved him SO much. and she was sure that it was love because she's never felt anything like that before. it made her so happy and in everything she did she excelled. but no.. after a few weeks, it was over. that was in april 2003. she doesn't see him again after that. october 2003. nicole thinks she's moved on. she went out with a new guy and sees the old guy. her heart starts beating again. she was not over him.
i don't think i'm fully over him yet. but hey, i'm getting there. he hurt me a whole lot. i cried boxes of tissue. but then i realized, it wasn't worth the tears. sure, i regret that our friendship was ruined and things will never be the same, but i'll get over it. and you will too.
you are woman and you are strong. women empowerment bebeh.
nicole loves you and hopes that you will feel better. smile!

pictures from mica's birthday celebration are up in my new webshots!! http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl2

isagani was SO damn hot. juanita wasn't so bad either but isagani just took my breath away!! haha.. simoun was all right. pero talaga, isagani!!! if not for the annoying boys in front of us, i would've had a greater time than i had.

my day started with ms. marlene's talk. it was a GREAT talk. three important points:
1) nothing in your life happens by coincidence. yes this is true. though at times you feel that it's a coincidence, it is not. something about that experience will help you grow as a person. there's a reason for all that. and i'm guessing that there's a reason for all the shit that has been happening lately. wait, no, i'm not guessing, i know.
2) if it's meant to be, God will open doors. so.. maybe magic and i aren't meant to be because He's not opening any door. or maybe, i just don't see what's going on. hrmm....
3) once He inspires you, go for it! He's inspired me to be a person for others. and yes, i'm getting there.
i can't wait to write my reflection paper on that talk. it was truly a very inspiring talk. it makes me want to be even more free. it makes me know that God will help me be free. He's there to guide me to the right path and all I need to do is talk to Him. okay, i shall look back on this entry while writing m paper. i love you ms. marlene!!! you inspired me.

MTB was GREAT! i had so much fun. this year's batch is very talented. and i mean VERY talented. i'm so happy to be surrounded by such talented artists. let's go MTB! kaya natin 'to!!! tara abrina, ang galing mong magsulat at kumanta. isa kang henyo. kudos to all my fellow mtb members!! you guys rock!!

the kids in bahay maria were very hospitable. they were all so cariño and sweet!! and they were hella hyper!!! HAHA!
thank you besty!! i had a wonderful time today in bahay maria and in glorietta. please tell mico that i thank him for all the stickers that he has stuck in my phone. HAHA!

hrmm.. i am missing someone. i have just come to realize that a lot of people are starting to feel the same about him as me. rawr. it gets me jealous at times.. yes i do but why should i be? ugh. ayoko na nga. i have to see him again. talk about nicole.. ugh.

i must go to people are people SOON. yes, i must!!! i have so many things to buy. nicole will start saving and will go there right after the retreat!!!!! i must buy something. at least ONE thing. i see myself wearing a lot of things there. and OMG! i saw a really nice skirt kanina but then i was too dyahe to buy it. damn it.
nicole must start studying for her ACET and her UA&P entrance test. not only that, she has to read the miller and do hella a lot of homework. she has team building all day tomorrow and on sunday she won't be home. what on earth will nicole do?!

wanted: garage band prince. the only person i could think of that would fit the description of my garage band prince is well, who else? ugh.. frustration.

i actually feel much better now than i did before. yeah sure, maybe i still feel a little bad. but hey, i can't let things bring me down, right? shit happens and i'll be getting really juicy lemonade soon! so here i am. trying to let it flow! thanks sir ja!!

to all you reading this: please write me a palanca and give it to me on or before september 20 2004, monday. i would really appreciate it because it is my last retreat!! and don't worry my dear stars, i plan to write each and every one of you palancas. i have to, it's our last retreat all together.
please email it to me: nikawl@yahoo.com or mynameisnicole@hotmail.com and make sure that you put the subject RETREAT so i won't read it agad. and to some of you, you can just drop it off my house. i would appreciate it more if you did that or send it to me through someone else. you get my point. thanks!!

i now remember what i was really going to write..

i read the topic in mice and realized how old i'm getting. as pau said this evening on the way to glorietta, in 7th grade, all we thought about was partying in high school and now that we're seniors, well, what do we think about? college? stuff like that. we were reminiscing on our mrs. guba days and mama b days. grabe. i do really miss those days. and you know what? i am so happy to be graduating with the same people i entered high school with. really!! i can't wait for our baguio trip and mindoro trip and batangas trip! in a few months, we will and i know i'll have a great time cause i'm gonna be with you guys!!! i love you guys so so SO much!!! rawr!! i had so much fun with you guys tonight!! next year, we'll be in college! grabe, walang iwanan na 'to!!!
kudos and i love you to MK: pau, bear, jiza, yumi, cat, mica, kring, jamie, raya, ner, tracy and luis!!

so many people that i've met in high school. so many people i've grown to love and know and you know.. i love you all! thanks SO much for being a part of my life and just giving me the best high school experience ever!!! thanks to you all!!!
tanya, crissy, maiqui, pia, beali, tara, rhiza, section one, section 2, the N boys: dino, benny, luis, leandro, sj, joey pee, mikko, samboy, fahrenheit, nikolas, MTB, SLC, the soccer team, my church friends, merc, tg, marla, miguel, ben, benjamin, ben trilles, SHA, lower batch friends, trumpets friends: sacki, jeric, justin, lea, david, char... my teachers!!!

ang rami pang iba!! grabe! i love you all SO much and i thank God for giving you all to me.

As we go on, we remember all the times we've had together. And as our lives change, come whatever, we will still be FRIENDS FOREVER...

ok, sorry friends! you can now check out my webshots. i finished fixing them pictures. http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl2

i listened to my 10 year old cousin and her friends chat while watching the UP-La Salle game and well, haha. i really hope that i wasn't like that when i was 10. they all act so mature yet, childish at the same time. weird noh? but it was great watching the game with them. yes, UP may have lost but we still have ateneo. damn la salle!

got home today all tired and my body superly aching from all the activities of the day and i just can't believe how people can be so insensitive and shallow. ugh. annoyance. parents. you can't live with them, you can't live without them. hey, i love my parents very much. but today he was just. ugh.
i guess that's why i just sat in the privacy of my bathroom crying. i probably couldn't take all the bullshits anymore. i was pissed, hurt and sad all at the same time. i couldn't take the pressure. maybe that's why i want to study in the US. to get away from all this. other than that, i want to stay here. because this is my country. i grew up here and even if people say that i have better options abroad, i choose to stay here with my fellow people.
thank you luis for making me feel so much better!

yesterday, i was doing better than before. today, i just feel... i don't know. i feel the same as the day before yesterday. and let me just say, it sucks. i want to learn how to write songs. i can't write for shit. haha..

thank you to all the people who made this day such a beautiful and joyous day (labo ng terms): slc, the varsity teams, mikee cojuangco, vince hizon, ms. jen, coach niño, sasa and luis! thanks so much!

mikee cojuangco gave a talk today about sportmanship and when i went up to her to ask for an autograph she said i looked like one of her students named iya sarmiento. ain't that cool? haha!

my body hurts from what slc did today. rawr. and it super hurts. maybe i can be excused from school on monday. rawr. damn it. so much work to do. it's killing me. please pray for us. it's our exams next week and some of us are taking the UA&P test on sunday. rawr.

here we go seniors, it's time for the ACET. deym. kaya natin 'to.

Dear Lord,
thank you for the day that has passed. thank you for the wonderful people who gave us the talks. thank you for all those new people i met but probably won't remember their names. thank you for inspiring me to be a person for others just like vince hizon. thank you for letting me get to know the deeper side of others. thank you for all that you've blessed me with today.
Lord, all i ask of You right now is to help me be free of all the impediments that has overshadowed my willingness to do my moral obligation. (if that makes sense to You.) thank You. Amen.

today, one of my cousin's friends told me that her 17 year old brother who studies in Xavier is single when she heard my tita getting mad at me because i still don't have a boyfriend. i looked at the girl and smiled. she kept repeating it and i took it as a hint to ask about her brother whom i come to realize, i know. haha. that was funny.
anyway, my tita who happens to know magic's mom asked me about magic and i didn't know what to say. even until now i wouldn't know what to say. because i don't know what i feel about him anymore. ay my gally.

i haven't touched my guitar for days. maybe i don't have the right inspiration to play anything. i don't even know what i want to listen to anymore. damn it.

the worse thing about all this is that the person i super want to talk to is as busy as me and our schedules are just too, ionno. ugh. i badly need to talk to him. to vent about things. i really miss you!!! sorry i wasn't able to tell you what i was suppose to tell you when you messaged me! i just really didn't feel like it. i still heart you and you're still my crush! haha.

nicole is frustrated and doesn't know what exactly she is feeling. she doesn't like this feeling at all.

Just for today.. For the seniors, you might know what i'm talking about. Yup, I got this from Ms. Marlene's talk. This has been my prayer every morning. Just for today...

Just for today let me wake up early and focus on my work. Just for today help me discipline myself and concentrate on each lesson. Just for today let me accept my mistakes and learn from them. Just for today let me be open minded about the things I don't want to understand. Just for today help me change what I do not understand and understand what I cannot change. Just for today let me control myself from staying in front of the computer for too long. This is my just for today prayer every day.

Thank you to all who have read my last blog and commented. Nicole thanks you for your support and words of encouragement. This must be some kind of phase i'm going through. Maybe it's part of being 17. RAWR.

wanted: garage band prince
nah.. maybe i'll just have to admit to myself that nothing will happen anyway. therefore i will get over him. i must get over him. soon. distractions aren't good for me. it keeps me unhealthy and mrs. acuba doesn't like that.

antioch.. i can't join this weekend. it's my UA&P test on Sunday. rawr. sucks. then exmas. then the ACET then our retreat. deym. please pray for me and the rest of us seniors!!!!!

if you love something let it go, if it comes back to show then that's how you know. it's for keeps yeah, it's for sure...
yes, that comes from christina aguilera. i've comtemplated on it all day and realized that there's no use in trying anymore. so i will stop. i love you and i'm stopping. as much as it hurts me not being your friend, i must let go. i love you that much. but i still hope you know that i will always be here for you. i don't even understand what happened between us. retreat's coming and i don't know what to tell you.

"It's hard to get mad at 4-1" -- Sir Rodriguez
oh yeah! haha.. go sir! such pretty faces you see, hence it's hard to get mad huh? HAHA! rawr..

nicole thinks she's gotten her time all fixed. i have nap time, study time and computer time everyday! i've lessened computer time of course. except when i NEED to use it. then i'll be sleeping at 10 pm at the latest waking up at 430 am and 530 am at the latest. yey! i have to get used to that. rawr.

i miss going to luke...

LiveJournal Haiku!
Your name:	fumoon
Your haiku:	and for that i want to make a difference i want to be princess
Username:
Created by Grahame

Incubus and Something Corporate are the best! There are some songs that I can somewhat relate with. I'll blog more later. But I have to go in a while... Thank you to those who lent me their cd's! April, Tami and Freyja! You guys rock! Hehe...

The Astronaut
I've been sleeping with ghosts
I've been watching stars crawling out of the sky
I've been hoping I'm close
To the spaceman movies I call my life

And I've been climbing ladders through time
I've got tunnel vision but I'm doing fine
And i've been watching stars coming off of the wall
And maybe if i'm lucky I could catch them before you fall
And you are not alone

Calling out to the astronaut
I need some of what you've got
I need to be high
Crawling out of a world she bought
Calling out to the astronaut
I need to be high

I've been holding this microphone
And i've been channeling but I think we're alone
I've got platinum vision and a tin foil touch
I've got you to propel me
But I still need so much
Not to be alone

Calling out to the astronaut
I need some of what you've got
I need to be high
I disappear in a world she bought
Calling out to the astronaut
I need to be high

Not What It Seems
A long day
If ever these questions were yours what would you say?
I don't know
But i'm writing the answers on cheap paper napkins
And now he's turning off
Now she's shutting down

It's not what it seems
Nothing's the same when you give it away
No it's not what it seems
It's just what you think it is

And these fights
They climb through my veins like it's mercury rising
And these nights
I seem to remember a home that was better
And now he's turning off
Now she's shutting down

It's just what you think it is

*Note: I'm taking "home" as a simbolism of something else. My family's not messed up.

to my dearest 4-1 (and the rest as well), here are our economic problem sets. have fun reviewing them for the exams once sir rodriguez gives us back our papers!!! (*hint hint*) i didn't put the directions anymore cause well, yeah. haha!

A.
1. As economic consultants for BBR Inc., you are asked to study the demand patterns of your clients. This case is about your number one client, Itsumo Tech; one of the leading producers of DVD drives. You are asked to study their demand for microships. Two years ago, when microchips were priced $50.00 per unit, the company demanded 550 units. Last year, the price increased by 10& causeing a 20% decrease in the demand.
Look for the ff:
a. Demand Schedule (2 pts)
b. Demand Equation (4 pts)
c. Demand Curve (4 pts)

2. Given the data derived above, look for:
a. the highest possible price that would push the company to stop demanding the said good. (2 pts)

3. Given the demand equation for item number one, look for the corresponding quantity demanded given the following prices (1 pt each):
a. $60.00
b. $45.00
c. $70.00

4. Is it rational for Itsumo Tech. to demand 1650 units of microchips for their production? Why or why not? Explain your answer. (5 pts)


B. Graphically represent each story
1. Basti is your typical consumer. His satisfaction is represented by the function U= f (x,y). Let us assumer that his satisfaction is set at U1 and he has a budget given at M1. The consumer equilibrium is set at the combination where good x is approximately equal to good y. Graphically show what will happen if there is a decrease in the price of good y. After this, show what will happen if there is a decrease in the budget. (5 pts)

2. Given the untility function U = f (theta, pi) *sorry! nicole does not know how to do that in symbols* show what will happen if budget, given at M1 is held constant while prices of both goods decreased. Set initial satisfaction at U1. (5 pts.)

3. Jet's satisfaction is derived from consuming lettuce and tomatoes. Set satisfaction at U1 and budget at M1. Let the consumer equilibrium be set in the combination where good y (lettuce) is greater than good x (tomatoes). Show what will happen if the price of good x increased followed by an increase of the price of good y. Let the magnitude of the increase of the price of good y be greater than the increase in the price of good x. After this, show what will happen if the general level of prices increase. (10 pts.)


C.
1. Assuming that a firm has already decided on the level of output for this year, can it shift its isocost to the right if in the first quarter of this year, sales already went up by 25%? Justify your answer. (5 pts)

2. As the Manager of NEBCOR Inc. you have the final say when it comes to hiring personnel. Consider the ff:
JET AJUN
Marginal Productivity P500/month P1000/month
Desired Salary P15000/month P20000/month

Assuming all things held constant, which person should you hire? Justify your answer mathematically then give a brief explanation. (10 pts.) (Blues Clues: Think of it in terms of what i lose and what i have to pay)

3. In the short run, what is the relationship of marginal product to marginal cost? How is this relationship explained? (5 pts)

The Many Faces of Joy
Philip B. Kunhardt Jr.

Joy is contagious.
It can spread like a forest fire,
Whipped by a high, hot wind.
Joy can be shared in a crowd.
Or it can be savored all alone.
Joy can bellow.
Or it can fall soft as a kitten's tread.
Joy can excite.
Or it can comfort.
Joy can be sensuous.
Or it can spring from the intellect.
Joy can bewitch.
Joy can be sweet.
Or it can be zesty, euphoric, giddy.
It can teach. It can heal.
It can lay to rest old pain.
In a world so darkened by suffering and uncertainty,
joy can brighten our heavens and make life worth living all over again.

i think i'm back to normal. i'm less melancholic. hehe.. yes. i got home today after a much needed trip to the mall.. alone. but i didn't mind really. it was erm, relaxing. and for the first time, i didn't see anyone i know. well, maybe i wanted to see SOMEONE, but it won't really kill me not to see him, right? hrmm.. anyway...

i guess the rockwell trip gave me time to think about the past weeks. i mean, yes, i'm used to being there alone but i guess today was different. it gave me a sudden mood shift. from being melancholic to being extremely happy. the sadness in my heart has finally receded.

i bought a new cd. story of the year. it's getting me all hyped up and happy!!! so now i'm in my yellowcard-incubus-something corporate-story of the year mode. hehe.. it's all good. thank you to all those who lent me their cd's!! you rock!!

yup! nicole is back to normal. i am less lonely!! yey!! if you catch me "tulala" that just means i lack sleep. story of the year, you rock! and to the people who have given me words of encouragement, you rock too!! you know who you are!! *wink wink*

mrs. eala scared me today. well. more than usual. teehee.. she asked me, "who's notes did you get that from?" and that total freaked me out, see as i didn't read it from anywhere. RAWR.

Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game.

this week, nicole has managed to:
--> do all her homework
--> become responsible
--> sleep before 10 pm everyday
--> review her lessons everyday
--> focus on work
--> have a mood shift

but i still haven't been able to stop thinking about him and lessen my computer time. rawr.

warning: please do not laugh. this is nicole's first attempt at writing.

What's the use in trying?
When underneath i'm dying
I'm just an amorous princess
Hoping lovelorn ceases

Maybe I should get used to all this
Being melancholic instead of wishing for bliss

I think i'm falling for you
And for some reason you're making me feel blue
I'm going out of my mind not knowing what to do
I just hope that you feel the same way too

I've got to wake up from this fairy tale
I don't want to but man I just really have to bail
From thinking that you only see me as a friend
So I won't get my hopes up to a dead end

Maybe all i really need is focus
Get some magic spell like hocus pocus

It could be wrong telling all this to you
But I can't help it, I don't know what else to do
I think about you day and night
Every time i'm with you my heart takes flight

nicole is embarassed. but hey, you can't say i didn't try. BWAHAHA!

it's funny actually. right after that blog last blog i was in a better mood. a much much better mood!! i just really had to vent that one out. hehe..

today SLC had their oath taking. YEY!! i'm so happy. i love my slc family. i brought the flag down today. (correct grammar?) i was so happy!!!

best part of nicki's day came in the morning: thank you kacki for the shirt!!!! you have made nicki very happy!! i labshoo!!!!!

mtb: YEZZUH!!! that felt really good. the prayer and all. rawr. here's the original song we played:

(Untitled) by Bam Gueco and San Vasquez
When things don't go the way I plan
Life seems to suck and I don't understand
I'm so down, my grades are low
Stuff about math that I just don't know

I'm existing but I'm not living
Everything's just so confusing
What's the point of living everyday?
Life seems so purposeless anyway

Sometimes I wanna end it all
Jump off a building and fall, fall, fall..
But I remember that I have you
And I'm very sure that you'll pull me through

Chorus:
I'll wait 'til things get better
I'll wait for the sun to shine through
I know the rain will soon be over
But I know i've got to hold on to you

Things are though and school's such a drag
Physics sucks and i can't carry my bag
Parents expect way too much
Ano ba 'to? Nakaksira ng ulo!

But I know You'll see me through
I looke beside me and i find You

(Chorus)

But I know, I've got to hold on to you!

i'm proud to say that i wrote the part "i can't carry my bag" and the filipino part. you can actually tell that it came from me because it doesn't make sense. but if you symbolize it, my "bag" can be my burden. NAXX! haha!

i wrote something yesterday which isn't quite done yet. hrmm... nicole's attempts on writing can frustrate her. haha.. but hey, she's trying.

final realization: nothing will happen. EVER.

no more blogs starting probably on sunday. so until then, adios!

nicole is crushless and wants a noah. after last night.. argh. i want my garage band prince to come!

it is my entrance test tomorrow for UA&P, my exams next week and my ACET next Sunday but I am in no mood to study. why? lack of focus. damn it.



create your own visited countries map
or check out these Google Hacks.

--> oh yeah maiqui!!!



--> bobbie?? oh my!



--> bea puyat!! first you date my "ex" whoever he may be and now you loathe me!?

hrm... math was err, interesting. i promise myself to study very hard for the ACET. i'm actually thankful that i took the UA&P test today. it serves as a good practice for the ACET. HAHA! reading comprehension and abstract reasoning was pretty easy.

essay... "How do television and movies influence the behavior of people?" Hrmm.. I thank you Mrs. Eala & Mrs. Villalon for Media Ed class that has helped me answer my beautiful essay. And I thank Sir Rodriguez for the essay writing tips last Friday. hrmm..

Annie!! OMG!!! ****!!!! Cutie!! haha... it's fun to share!! haha.. shush! our little secret!

i am SO damn sleepy. imagine if i didn't have to take the test today, i could be in antioch right at this moment instead of sitting in front of the computer and trying to "rest". i bet they're having such a good weekend.

i was talking to Bam about someone today and how he tries to make us jealous by "mistexts". uhh.. as if!!! pssh...

what i realized? i hate, ok maybe not hate, i dislike a lot of people too much. that i am planning to change for my retreat. please pray for us!! and give us palancas, ok?

off to study my economics and pysics!! byerz!

i don't know.. it's like every time things get better something or someone just pisses me off all of a sudden. ugh.. maybe i'm going through extreme mood swings that when you say something (even as a joke) i get pissed or insulted. but hey, what someone said today was highly insulting. i'm so glad i have a blog to vent all this. rawr. but really, HIGHLY insulting. and it wasn't a bit funny. you'd think you'd get it the moment i all of a sudden said bye right? psshhh..

let it flow nicole, let it flow....

did you know that ice monster delivers? OH YEAH!

--> ben my dog?




--> wild horse! rawr!




--> classy hoe.. crissy? nice one!

GOOD LUCK TO ALL FOR EXAMS EVERYONE!!!

TO ALL SENIORS: GOOD LUCK SA ACET!! KAYA NATIN 'TO MEHN!!!

Study well and God bless.

wah!!!! physics exam.. it's killing me. rawr. i can't focus! why? because my notes is full of "magic" and doodles. rawr. go nicole. i fixed my notes today and i was successful. now i need to study. rawr. nicole must study. good luck seniors!!!

belated happy birthday to big little brother batman rg sta. maria who turned 17 last september 13, monday!!!!!

belated happy birthday to danggay who turned 17 also last monday!!!

belated happy birthday to rico escaler who turned 18 yesterday!! and to sophie who turned 19 (i think)!!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARNEE LITTON!!!!

wala lang. i suddenly remembered "What A Girl Wants" by that thin girl (i always forget her name).

If you love something let it go, if it comes back to show, that's how you know. it for keeps, it's for sure...

that comes from the randomness of my mind. i hope it helps certain people!

holy cow. guess who has sore eyes. yep. it's so freaking annoying. because of this i won't be able to go to school tomorrow and i won't be able to see my english paper EVER! and i won't be in the morning assembly which i oh so love to go to! and the mass! and urgh.. nicole is frustrated.

oh and get this. sore eys today, ACET on sunday!! guys please PLEASE pray for me!!! i was crying in the clinic this morning when i found out because oh my ged!! how in the world will i be able to do all my homework, take the ACET and go to the retreat if i have sore eyes?!?!

Dear Lord,
Thank You for the week that has passed. Thank You for blessing me and guiding me through my exams, most especially Physics.
Lord, I ask You to heal me!!! I need to take the ACET on Sunday. Please Lord, no more sore eyes. Thank You.
Amen.

7 tests down, one to go. for this week i have taken a total of 7 tests: ua&p, physics (ugh..), cle, economics, filipino, english and math (yezzuh!) on sunday, i must take the ACET. it's going to kill me if i don't take it THIS sunday.

what else sucks about this? i can't go to school tomorrow!!! i need to go to school tomorrow because mrs. eala is giving out the test results!!! ugh.. if i don't get to check it then i won't ever get to check it!! ugh.... i think i failed english. ugh. i hope not. rawr. WORDS.

anyway.. off to start on my homework. maybe i'll be better tomorrow. HOPEFULLY i'll be better tomorrow.

oh and those who'd like to join Youth od San Antonio pray for Bea, they're praying the rosary after the 6 pm mass today. and i can't be there. ugh. frustration!!!!!

rawr ano ba 'to?

Your band by http://www.livejournal.com/~slashess'>jesus_spiced
Username
Pick an obscenity	ShitBitchAssFuckGoddamnitRyan Seacrest
You will be the	Roadie
Your groupie will be	prodeegee
Your cover band will be started by	foody_doodie
Debut CD name	Led Zeppelin VII
Your next tour is	September 1, 2006
Opening band	Some local ska band
You sound like a mix between	The Vines
and	The Sex Pistols
Band quirk	You're so awesome you all get crucified
Typical band cliche	You all die at 27
http://memegen.net/'>Quiz created with MemeGen!

--> i am so damn hot!

Your Love Life by lpfloatsmyboat
Name/username/nickname:
favorite color:
best physical quaility:	lips
best personality trait:	caring
will you marry your bf/gf that you have now?	no
when will you get married?	August 9, 2019
your kiss is:	mixed messages
People date you because:	you're hot
http://memegen.net/'>Quiz created with MemeGen!

Your Icon is..... by http://www.livejournal.com/users/crazie_gurl/'>d3athofs3asons
Your Name
Your Age
Your B-day
Your Icon Is....	http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v444/puncrox07/506527.gif'>
http://memegen.net/'>Quiz created with MemeGen!

Which Depressed Icon Is You? by drunkaholic
Name
Age
Your Icon	http://tweetyb185.homestead.com/files/pain2_1_.jpg'>
http://memegen.net/'>Quiz created with MemeGen!

--> some kind of a..

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEL DABAO!!! I MEES YOU BUDDY!!!

looking back on all the shit that's happened in my life i realized that i've lost the people that have been there for me for every situation. well, maybe except for one. but think about it, that's a whole lot of people. damn.

but i seriously miss all those people. it sucks. the feeling of missing someone. sometimes you just feel so restless. sometimes you feel like you can't do anything anymore. you've completely blocked yourself from that/those person/s. you've lost him/her.

maybe being sick has made me contemplate on the many mysteries of life too much. or maybe this ataris cd is very err... i don't know. it makes you realize things? hrmm..

i have concluded that what you listen to influences what you listen to and what you watch, hence proving my essay for the UA&P test correct. good job nicole.

If you think you've found that one
That you really love...
Make sure they love you back.


Everything is turning grey, but i won't hold my breath today
Cause' i'm not scared and to tell the truth i just don't care.
Are you looking for an answer? when you still don't know the question.

It's like lighting candles in the rain-
Sometimes life can be a pain,
But don't give up without a fight.

Sometimes when you feel afraid, don't give up and run away.
Cause' two wrongs don't make a right.
What's the point in crying when you've don nothing wrong.
It was right there all along.

The world's nothing but a lie and everyone is going to die
But what can i say? just help me make it through today.
You don't need a destination just to go somewhere in life.

It's like throwing feathers at the wind
They come right back to you again.
So why not give it one more try?

Just cause' things aren't what they seem
It doesn't mean you shouldn't dream
Just don't get your hopes to high.
Cause' when things don't turn out right
You world comes crashing down.

i hate people who are SO mayabang. yup. annoyance. damn it. especially those who laugh at you because you said unintentionally say something incorrectly when all your life you think it's pronounced that way. and instead of being corrected i was laughed at. yes, if you're reading this, i am talking about you. i am pissed at you again. you who pity assumptionists because of their tagalog. yes you've gotten me mad again. i don't see why i even bother to talk to you still. you're hopeless. i pity you.

These past few weeks
I've been confused
Sometimes i wonder if
I'm better off alone.

You fall in love
Then break your heart.
You fall in love again
Its never ending.

I used to have this friend
Who took his fiance
To see billy idol
A couple weeks before
Their wedding day.
The chick got backstage
And left my friend outside.
Next day he called
From a hotel
Asking for a ride.

I guess i'm giving up on love (x3)
'cause it really kind of sucks

Uninspired
And growing tired
Why am i always
So attracted to drama?

So here i am
Grown up at 23
Will someone tell me
What it takes to be happy?

I play in my band
And write a lot of songs
About relationships
And how mine went wrong.
Maybe i'll meet that special
Boy along the way
Then she'll break my heart
And leave me crying.


so there. all my angst and feelings once again.

hey friends! want to help me choose my quote for the yearbook! here are my list of quotes! comment if you must!! :D

"I am invincible. You are invincible. We are invincible as long as we're alive." -- No Such Thing by John Mayer

"Don't let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game." --A Cinderella Story

"The biggest fish in the river got that way because it was never caught." -- The Big Fish

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important that fear. The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all." -- The Princess Diaries

"Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you. Life has a funny way of helping you out." -- Ironic by Alanis Morisette

"Lift your head, baby don't be scared of the things that could go wrong along the way. You'll get by with a smile." -- With A Smile by Eraserheads

i am a drama queen and punk rock princess.

happy birthday sir januarius regmalos!

need i say more about the acet when everyone's been talking about it anyway? lol. anyway.. yes, the acet was overrated. it wasn't as hard as expected. come to think of it, maybe i stressed too much and expected it to be superly hard that i found it err, not hard. lol. really.

anyone remember my goal after i took the UPCAT? i shall finish the acet, leave no blanks and do no shot guns especially in the math part. goal accomplished. i am proud to say that i finished math with 10 minutes to spare and well, i didn't shot gun. thank you to dino who taught me most of the things i needed for the math part. and with that help, i accomplished my goal. salamat mi amigo. and for all the encouragement too! even though you didn't wake up.. lol.

woke at 4 because doña mica wanted to get picked up at 5 but wasn't even ready at 525. nice one. anyway, i told myself, this day will define your life. yes. lol. "it's the time of my life!" went to mcdo and waited for it to open. talk about FALSE ADVERTISEMENT! lol. open at 5 but actually opened at 6. we should've eaten at the one in eastwood mica!

dropped of mica at the high school and proceeded to the grade school. very anxious and needed medicine for that. lol. saw all the assumptionistas.. blah blah.

first test. english. rawr. i did pretty well i guess. there was this one question that is still stuck in my head. lol. it had the name of my prince! HAHA! math.. OH YES. BSE MATH HERE I COME. break.. walang kwenta.
thank you mrs. eala, sir rodriguez, ms. aby, mrs. acuba, ms. villafania, ms. villaruz, ms. regala, mrs. alcanzo and ms. baylon, and of course tito ambeth for all the general intelligence help. believe me, all the listening paid off. i mean, not that it's anything bad. but you know, the little side comments and not needed information in class (those not connected to the topic/subject) really helped. hehe..

who wrote the book sweet scent of apples? or something like that. out of my 10 minutes for that subset. it took me 9 minutes to do that. LOL. makes me laugh actually. HAHA. the answer is santos my friends. (as in like arwind santos! lol.)

ACET DONE. i saw lots of people afterwards. i saw tina turner. woman, i miss you! do you even still remember me?! i saw rg. little prince! lol. salamat sa palanca. next time don't be late for the entrance test!! i saw suzanne davis!!! oh my god!! i miss you woman!! we need to catch up on our last 9 years. LOL. haven't seen you since 5th grade.

walked withh ginjie to the field, saw the sword of st. ignatius. we should've stolen it. lol. then all of a sudden a head pops out of a pajero and we see rita kwan on her way to the high school. again woman, you are an angel. lol. man, it was far if we wanted to walk pala. LOL.

anyway, sorry jowell i didn't get to see you. hehe.. erm.. finally got to the high school and mica's mom told us to walk somewhere nearer. rawr. haha.. we walked all the way to the Church of the Gesu. not that it's that far. hehe..

thanks you tita mary ann and mica for the lunch and ride home. couldn't have lived without you guys. LOL. obviously.

got home, talked to dino.. ranted. haha. i needed to. all the potential energy stored up inside of me killed me and had to turn into kinetic energy and it just so happened that it was dino i thought of. LOL.

juiniors game. CONGRATULATIONS MEHN! seniors, well, let's just say that FEU can beat la salle. hehe..

after a near death ACET, a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do.. SHOP. yes. i needed that. a well deserved shopping trip with mom and dad (of course!). bought 3 new tops. hehe.. one that says drama queen, another that says daddy's girl and the third says love to talk. LOL.

i'm attracted to drama queens
still affected. lol. only one person in the world knows who said the italicized. lol. and he's not telling anyone, right? not even jiza. lol.

that's it. rawr. two down, three to go (USTET, DLSUCET, CSB)

as father edwin would say, "God is so magaling." this is probably the best retreat that i have ever gone through. and i've got bunches of people to thank:

father edwin for being such a GREAT retrat facilitator. for not making the retreat too boring but still keeping the solem atmosphere. thanks for being the tech-iest and funkiest priest i know! hehe.. mrs. V, ms. cha and ms. esqui, mr. V, manong Jun, the sisters (especially Sr. Aisa), Mary Jane and the manongs and manang for all the work they did to make the retreat possible. for the people who made me palancas thanks for your words of encouragement and wisdom especially mica and kacki i labshoo!!! and of course each and every member of 4-1 for being part of my last high school retreat. thanks for your affirms, palancas, smiles and hugs.

nicole after the retreat:
1. loves life (special thanks to rita kwan on that)
2. less pessimistic
3. still lazy but we're getting there
4. LOVES GOD
5. LOVES HER CLASS

to those who do not want to spoil they're own retreat, please stop reading here.

now i assume that since you're reading this, you have chosen to read what has happened during the past 5 days which means you are either my classmate or someone that is not from my batch. let's start..

Day 1: The Journey to Assumption Sabbath Place
waking up at 430 in the morning wasn't so bad. i went to starbucks then passed my edric's to get my palanca and to hand him his palanca. after that i was off to school.. fast forward.
i sat at the back of the bus, near the mountain of bags. VERY heavy bags in fact. i sat near jiza, pau and bear and it was really fun! (thanks you guys!) we sang half way to tarlac which is about 2 hours off the trip. haha..
stop over: Jollibee. i was never a jolibee person so i didn't really know to eat. pia called up and talked to half the class. we also called up sir kiko and greeted him happy birthday. he left last wednesday. *tear*
second stop over: Shell Station in La Union. thank you mommy alex for paying for my kisses bar. hehe..
up the mountain! up the mountain! rawr. sitting at the back of the bus in a zig zag road with big ass bags at your bag was not a very good idea. risky, but FUN. all the bags falling at my left were small bags anyway. HAHA.
arrival: it was raining and we were welcomed by the nice nuns of Assumption Sabbath. my first reaction? "OMG. i am not in a retreat house! i'm in john hay!" yes. it was THAT beautiful.
class encounter... *sigh* i didn't expect anything like that.
Slept pretty early and no one attacked our room on the first night.

Day 2: Guava Jelly time
I've no idea how Rhiza woke me up, but she's good. LOL. breakfast.. first session with father edwin it was great!!
we watched Tuesdays With Morrie *tear*. again, so many realizations.. share group 3 was the best!! HAHA. we had to move places a few times, but it was fine.
dinner.. YUMMY. guava jelly rocks! (i think that was during lunch). but hey, the guava jelly in the cupboard looked SO damn good. hehe..
prayed the rosary with the class. VERY GOOD. creepy but very good. righ yumi?
Again, no one slept with us.

Day 3: Seeing the Beauty of Life
ETO NA! Hike na 'to mehn. it was a great challenge and what was i thinking the whole time? "A mediocre man sees a mountain and only sees a mountain. But an intelligent man sees a mountain and climbs it." thank you sir benjie. we didn't exactly climb a mountain, we just err, went rock climbing? haha. the view was great and singing Mountain Top on an actual mountain top was fun!!
Ginjie and i took what we call a **** ********* pose. haha.. FRIENDSTER NA 'TO!!! hahaha. lol.
after the hike, a well deserved siesta and lunch.
we had the trust walk. ms esqui was my partner!! hehe.. she made me run!! EEK! scary! then i took her around the retreat house. she couldn't see the view though. sayang!
Now, we had Star Gate. stargate. it was a great and NASTY experience. giving full trust to your class that they won't drop you or let you "die" was a different feeling for me. it wasn't normal. hehe.. tanya, roanna and amanda died. as bear said, ang ganda naman ng mga namatay! haha.. the funny thing about the people who died? they're the flexible ones! HAHA! fran passing through star gate was nasty. oh and she died rin pala! haha.. it was REALLY nasty. arta and i had to position ourselves in a very uncomfortable postion. how the heck did we get into that?! haha.. i'll show you guys a picture once i get one. LOL.
the class passed. KUDOS to that.
the forgiveness activity was GREAT. i felt so much lighter afterwards. i'm so happy that i am now free of the burden of having an "enemy". i love you dopes! you know who you are! we had affirms and it felt even better after that!!! that was a good night. i was able to let go of my rock (burden).
rita kwan OH MY GED! slept in our room.

Day 4: Drop Dead Gorgeous!
we played the game "i love group __". we got up to 3rd place. what's wrong with being 3rd? HAHA.
i was ms. congeniality along with casey and anaissa. that's all i have to say about that. oh and rita kwan is so hot! hahaha... kinda stalker-ish already aren't i? HAHA. we had a nice serendipity walk in the zen garden and i saw the beautiful view of Baguio. it was so relaxing seeing the nice green leaves!!
we were given a surprise by the kids of st. martin school. they danced for us their respective tribe dances. it amazed me. i was partnered with a kid named karren. sweet kid. she calls me ate and like giving hugs. hehe.. she came from the bontoc tribe if i remember correctly. we sang babae for them.
no siesta today!!! we had a talk about LOVE and FEAR which really opened my eyes to the difference between love and fear. every moment is a choice. that's my lesson.
palanca reading from parents.. uh oh! hehe.. i cried so much! especially for the imagination part! rawr. but hey, it was another expereince that lightened my burden (??) hehe..i'm so glad that i was able to write that letter to my mom which i haven't given yet. hehe.. lol.
dinner.. we had to serve each other dinner. and the hard part was that we weren't allowed to tell the other person what we wanted. ysa's group was very orderly while the other groups were very err.. messed up? haha.. we were all shouting. but hey, i still had a great view of guava jelly. HAHA.
washed dishes with catey, pau h, ginjie, fran and kim wuhoo!!!
mass time!! it was great. we read palancas from teachers and our palanca from pia. thanks so much p!!!!!!
we then watched th retreat video. aww.. i miss the retreat already!!!! i miss fahter edwin, the nuns and the retreat house!!! i miss my class!!!!
after telling ysa about the person in their room they moved to our room. they being freyja, ysa and annie. jess slept in mia's room.

Day 5: The Journey back HOME
waking up at 4 am was wrong. i woke up at 530. haha.. session started at 6. i didn't bother to take a bath. haha..
we had a surprise from the nuns and they gave us cross necklaces. thanks so much!!!
i have a picture with father edwin!!! YEY!!! posting the pictures SOON. the bus ride was err.. haha. we sang a lot and slept a lot. i slept with a bunch of bags. haha!!!
now i am home. hopefully, i am a better person now than when i was 5 days ago. we'll see..

i want father edwin to celebrate my marriage!!!!! hahaha.. i miss my class. i miss baguio. i miss father edwin. i miss the food. i miss my bed. i miss the bathroom even though i had to go through cooperative bathing for a while there. what i mean is that we had to take turns even though there were 4 cubicles. to be able to have water in the shower only one shower must be open. HAHA. i miss scaring people at night and playing with the flashlight trying to wake up people. i can't believe i just went through my last retreat. it went by so fast...

hrm.. i know i just came from retreat and all.. ugh. it's just that. ugh. apathy lang talaga eh. sometimes people just don't understand the situation of others. and sometimes he just gets to my nerves!! sometimes lang ha. i mean, i love him and all as a friend, but ugh. he's just too apathetic. so that's the end of that vent. anyway..

after scaring dino by telling him the scary things that happened during the retreat, i was able to post the pictures from the retreat in my webshots. so those of you who would like to see, visit http://community.webshots.com/user/nikawl2 yey!!

i miss my bed in the retreat house. i miss hearing the whispering of my classmates at night. i miss getting paranoid about what i might see if i leave my room alone and walk the dark and cold corridor. i miss trying to wake up people with my flashlight. i miss having special dinner because i couldn't eat the food that was being served. i miss getting to say good night to all my classmates. i miss hearing amanda sing while she takes a shower. i miss cooperative bathing. i miss feeling superly cold after being slapped constantly by alex or rhiza after waking me up.

i miss the view of la union. i miss seeing the people fall while walking the slippery walk way of the hike. i miss getting a large piece of rock and throwing it on the floor with much force to break it into little pieces. i miss singing mountain top on an actual mountain top.

i miss my class. i miss seing jiza go to the buffet table millions of times. i miss praying "we love our bread, we love our butter, but most of all we love each other!" i miss seeing belle's table all messy after a meal. i miss going to pau and bear's room just to make kwento. i miss going to tanya's and ysa's room just to make them kulit. i miss hearing the laugh of my class. i miss hearing the hagulgol of vea. i miss my class oh so much!!!

i just heard that not a lot of people got a good grade in clubs. well, for me it's never about the grade anyway. it's because i love it there. instrument or no instrument. i love being with MTB and i love music.

i need to go out. i need to party. haha.. i need a decent social life. LOL. mikko mendoza i like your palanca. haha.. i wasn't online last week because it was exam week and well, you're right! haha! losers like us have their social lives online. LOL.

tomorrow's another day! let's go! let's go!

i got this from manong ton-ton!! let's storm the heavens with our prayers!!

Today is Bea's big day! Please pray for God to protect her from any infection or complication & grant Bea a succesful bone marrow transplant operation & recovery.

They are now extracting stem cells from the bone marrow of the dad of Bea. The procedure takes 5 and a half hours. Afterwhich, they will proceed the transplant on Bea. Her operation will be at around 1 or 2pm.

Also, the 6pm masses in San Antonio from Sept. 27 - Oct. 17 will be offered for Bea's succesful operation and speedy recovery. Please attend any of these masses if you are free.
--
"Hay hay hay hay hay hay!"

i woke up today ready to pass my benilde and ust application forms. after listening to jamie cullum, asking 5 people for directions and holding my temper for about an hour we finally reach our destination. i was finally in de la salle benilde. my driver asked 5 different people for directions and these 5 people gave the same directions but he didn't seem to understan. rawr.

i cannot possibly imagine myself travelling this far everyday with this much traffic. yes i know that la salle and ateneo has almost the same distance from my house but still i cannot imagine myself driving all the way to manila and probably getting lost for the 1st few months of school.

i never saw myself as a la salle student i guess. but if it's God's will for me to study in la salle then.. err.. haay... i'm not ready.

the benefit of studying in la salle? there are more food choices compared to ateneo. HAHA. well.. ewan. i just really want to get into ateneo now. hopefully i will.

for the next hour my driver and i went in circles in search for UST. when we got there, we were told that without a sticker, my car couldn't enter the road i needed to pass to get to the research complex where i was to pass my application form. so.. 2 blocks i walked from the parking lot all the way to the building behind the high school area.

while walking, i tried to picture myself wearing the awful (no offense) uniform with my books in my hand and a few new friends beside me. yes, i can imagine myself studying in the same school that my parents went to. but going all the way to españa everyday? big hassle. rawr.

but hey, UST is a great campus. the people weren't very friendly but a few of them smiled at me (which is good). the campus is nice and clean. i didn't smell pollution anywhere. my childhood best friend studies there and so does good old ben. so UST won't be so bad.

in my search for de la salle, we passed the university of the philippines in manila. wow.. imagine if i were accepted there. it was a large and rather chaotic campus.

so now i think... if it's in God's will for me to go to La Salle, so be it. but if it's the Ateneo that He wants me to study in, then that's GREAT! life wouldn't be so sad after all. lol.

but seriously, whatever university i may enter, i hope that it'll be the one that i fit in to best.

for some reason i wanted to write that as my subject. i am in love! and i sure am. i am in love with life and God! i am in love with my family and friends! i am in love with my stars! i am in love with my church! i am in love with my team and slc! i am in love with my MTB family! i am in love with my batch! i am in love. that's basically it. and nothing could make me happier than this. i love God and i love me. i've never felt so light hearted before. i've never felt this happy before (except maybe when my baby brother was born!) i am on a retreat high. that's it. hopefully this high never fades. God is great! Life is good. live life.
i love father edwin!

THIS ENTRY WAS WRITTEN ON SEPTEMBER 28 2004

happy birthday maia mallari, tg padilla and hilary duff! may God bless you all.

as i walked up the stairs that lead me to the the 3-1 classroom, i had a sudden feeling of sadness. knowing that i'll be entering this room without my good friend pia by my side was very different. i knew that things are not the same and will never be the same in that classroom. we've got a star in a different galaxy.

i sat in my seat all day remembering judgement day and all the memories that we made in that classroom. and as our first subject teacher entered, my mind was confused because i felt that i was back in junior year.

*sigh*

sitting all day in that classroom brought back lots of memories. but as ms. esqui said this is part of our "after glow". one month in that classroom. here we go 4-1. the first challenge to our retreat.

kapatiran today was GREAT! of all the people, i never expected 14 year old best friend stefi to be my kapatiran sister!! i'm so glad that she is!!! :D

training was err.. tiring. haha! i feel so badly out of shape. i guess that's what you get for not training for more than a week. LOL. and all the food in baguio has made me very unhealthy.

there's a certain teammate though that made training very interesting. i at least had enough patience to bear with her. how dare she diss this school that she is, at present, playing for. how dare she join the team without knowing the consequences of not working hard enough to stay in the team. pssshh..

now i am home. i am home and i will be leaving in a while. i'm going to marnee's party on saturday. i can't wait! i already have an outfit fixed. hehe.. tanya! we must go to the mall before the party! or else i shall die. LOL. i need to buy at least one shirt!

i hate it when my lolo suddenly loses his temper. it was never like this before my nana passed away. i hate seeing my nono mad. actually i hate it when he's mad because it affects my mood. i hate it when he can't just say things properly. oh well.. probably comes with the age.

today i was talking to amanda and joey about the last weekend and how when i entered last saturday, i didn't know half the people i saw. everyone was just so young. new generation of luke! we're getting old. LOL.
i am nicole sarmiento and i joined the 31st luke 18 weekend. i was in sharegroup number one with Andrew Escaler, Anielle Santos, Dan Layug and Pico (yes, i think i've forgotten his name). i was slept in Timi Gomez's house along with Corinna Samaniego, Bea Nakpil and Jam Acuzar. Franco Chan and Noelle Hilario team lead this weekend.
i miss going to church very much. i'm praying and hoping that i'll be back soon. we'll just have to wait and see.

after training i was SO tired. i passed by clar's house for the invites to sterotype. went home, took a bath.. blah.

last night, after the whole argument with my father, i left the house. YEHEY!

as i zipped up my jacket while walking behind the red carpet, i watched the people walking in the red carpet and saw a beautiful poster of my ex lover. rico blanco. it was his pepsi poster. i wanted to take a picture. my heart cried.. bad break up, bad break up.

i stood in line with ninang gik waiting for the nephew and nieces of martin nieverra (who's names i've forgotten, forgive me. wait no, i know one is sam, carlos and boogs(?). ok maybe i'm making up the last one.) while waiting i bumped into a few people i knew. hello to nica mendez and happy and twinkle ferraren. nice to see you both. it was nice meeting you raisa! and kara alfonso, it was nice seeing you too!!

well, stupidaaa me.. it's a fashion awards thingy nicole! yes, i went there in my jeans and plain white sleeveless shirt. lol. i felt lost and confused. everyone was wearing err.. magarbo shit. haha. but simple is beautiful too!

why i went there? i wanted to see bamboo. that's all. after bamboo performed, i planned to leave. but noo.. i ended up falling in love with someone else. *kilig*

you should've seen the gigantic smile on my face and my eyes widened when they called out bamboo on stage for the first time. i was forever taking pictures. but then i realized that i shouldn't take much pictures because they were still going to perform. so silently i waited for bamboo's turn.

radioactive sago project performed.. the late isabel performed.. some other bands performed.. still no bamboo. marc nelson was called on stage a couple of times, but still no bamboo. raya mananquil didn't win any award.. still no bamboo. i was getting imaptient.

finally, i thought it was time for sarah meir to present bamboo. but nooo... there was still a show for revolutionary fashion designers. argh!! i was getting so impatient and sleepy!! (thank you tanya for keeping me company at these times.)

to my surprise, he stood there on stage. the man of my dreams. he pretty much replaced bamboo. i was astonished by his guitar playing skills. they played sweet child of mine and two trick pony. yes, this man is my husband. he is no other than marc abaya.

i am SO in love. father edwin MUST bind me and marc in holy matrimony soon. haay... he's no bullshitter. right maika best friend?

so anyway.. when they called bamboo to the stage, i was out of energy and MEMORY!! my camera i mean.. so i had to delete a few pictures so that i could take pictures of bamboo. my ex love. they played mr. clay. nice one!! wala lang.

after that, i was ready to go home. but NO WAIT! lalaine hasn't presented the award yet. WOOPS. so i had to stay for another 15 minutes. and after that, we went outside, took some pictures and off they went to the after party, while i went home. exhausted.

well anyway.. i had a blast.

i woke up today with a splitting headache. what made matters worst was that i knew i had to go to school. DAMN. oh well..

school today was your typical wednesday. i had a blast playing bataille (sp?) with I-1, I-3 and IV-3. it was a tie! haha.. oh well!! i hope you had fun stefi poo!!!

i am home. i'm done with my physics homework and math homework. i don't want to read les miserables but i know i have to. i don't want to read my econ book, but i know i must. i need to recite. dun nalang ako babawi sa expected low grade ko. i don't want to read my el fili book but since i love rizal, i will. ugh. here we go.

today we watched a play called subtext and it rocked!! sacki!! you missed it. i'm sure you would've liked that. anyway.. it was very interesting. the director/writer had very good insights on life. he's inspired me actually. so i thank you. whatever your name is. HAHA.

watching subtext and taking up musicals in music makes me want to go back to trumpets. or maybe join rep. maybe i'll join rep this summer. *sigh* i miss being on stage and meeting new friends!! i'm glad that my old trumpets classmates are still my friends. i miss you guys!!! especially you sacki!!!!

SHIIIITTTTTT!!! nanalo la salle. buisit. ok lang. ARWIND SANTOS is STILL the mvp of the year baby. i love you arwind!!!

i love you stefi my sister!!!!

i woke up later than usual today. i don't know what it was about today that made it such a dragging day. as i searched my room for my chinese jackstones, i saw a picture of an old friend. i never realized how much i missed seeing him around church. well, wherever he is right now, i hope he's happy.

the more i searched, the more things of the past came up. i came across a letter i received in freshman year. it mut've been one of the dumbest letters i've ever gotten. silly me, i fell for it. i was fooled by a player. i remember that days that i cried and the days my heart would jump because of this one letter.

the bus honked and off to school i went. it felt like a long ride to school today as "two trick pony" kept playing in my head. i couldn't press the stop button for some reason.

bamboo here we come!! pau h invited me to watch bamboo with her and a few other classmates. i am so excited even though it's going to ba in november pa. but hey, i'm excited none the less.

crissy & raule were absent today. i missed you today crissy!!! raule! get well soon aiit? the class misses you oh so much! friends, please pray for her because according to alex she has infection in her blood.

i attached a few pictures of dresses here in my tabulas. have fun looking. hehe...

three choices for ball themes: filipino formal, havana/latin nights, 20's theme. hrmm.. what to choose. all sound good actually.

mental math was fun. i learned a lot. ahehehehe... i can now multuply any number by 11, mentally. i can also subtract 10, 100, 1000... by any number mentally. i can add and subtract 9 to any number mentally.. i am now a math genius.

i don't know if english was boring today or if it was just really me. i forgot to get my notebook with my les miserables research back from rhiza so i wasn't able to recite much. we didn't even have sentences for the words of the day.

i recited for economics today!! YEHEY! i'm so happy. ok, it is now my goal to recite at least ONCE per class. i need to read some more. whatever my grade for econ may be, i need to pull it up.

we watched The Big Fish for homeroom today with section 4. some people were so noisy that it annoyed me. they kept laughing so loud every time there was a mistake in the subtitles. ugh. apathy.

salo-salo for kapatiran was pretty boring. i mean, i'm glad that i was with stefi but you know, we didn't do much. stefi and i just kept bumping all her classmates. HAHA.

subtext is THE play that has brought back my "theater mood". and i am glad. i miss theater. basta, promise next summer i will join trumpets or rep. and you reading this will watch my play!!! bwahahaha!!

i had to leave 5 minutes before the bell because i was assigned to play the national anthem. i didn't want to actually, but since i told hannah that i'd do it, i went.

to anyone who has a contact email or number of tim yap please tell me. i really want to tell him a few things and ask him a few questions. thanks thanks!

hrmm.. surprisingly someone just asked me how i'm doing. hrm.. makes me think again. lol.

i have to start studying for the DLSUCET. sir rey! sir eijneb! i need your help! please help me!! i need to get into de la salle!!!! rawr.

tomorrow is report card day. i'm really scared. i mean, i know that i'm getting a line of 7 for physics. but i'm scared that i might fail. do you think that it's possible that i fail without getting a letter of possible failure and if i get a failing mark for the term exam??? WAH!!!!